God Speaks Quality Time

In case you haven't already read them, here are the first two posts in this series. The overview God Speaks Your Love Language and the first language Words of Affirmations. Today, we are going to talk about Quality Time and how that works out with God.

One of the key phrases in the scriptures is come follow me, come unto me, and come abide with me. All of these are invitations for all of us and yet especially powerful for the one who hears love the most with quality time.

The act of devotionals can be a big challenge for a lot of us. For the quality time person, they might actually find this easier. They may fight it at first until they begin to feel His love by spending that time with Him. As they take the time to spend in prayer, bible study, devotional books, and meditation, they find that they feel the love of the Divine easily. They will often feel something is lacking on the days they don't do this. This will make this an easier thing to add to their day, without needing much discipline.

We spoke of prayer with the words people. They used prayer to express great praise and gratitude and while all of us can do this in our prayers, for the quality time person, prayer is an opportunity to have a conversation with God. When they go into prayer with the intent of spending time with God, they will talk about their day, what's on their mind for other people, and they will often listen for that confirmation that he is there with them. God is always happy to spend time with us.

I mentioned yesterday that there are three types that I regularly see in my church choir. Quality time was not one that I was thinking of and yet, they very easily can be. The motivation to come would be about spending time with God through music and/or spending time with the people in the choir.

The quality time person may not even realize why they believe God loves them or doesn't. If they stop their daily or weekly devotionals they might find they begin to feel distant from God. It won't be until they return to these habits that they begin to feel that love and support of God. It might take a bit but after a while, they will find it is the most important thing they can do for their relationship.

I often hear people say they can tell when they haven't read their scriptures for the day. I personally, don't experience this same feeling. If they are words people, the words of the scriptures will speak love to them. If they are quality time, that time with God will speak love to them. As someone who doesn't have either of these as a dominant language, it can feel a little frustrating to hear this. If I didn't know why I might wonder if something were wrong with me. Knowing that our love languages can really affect these things is super powerful for me. I have my own motivation for reading the scriptures that don't fit either of these two languages.

Let's look at the three questions.

(1) How do I most often express my love to God? If you are choosing to set aside daily or weekly time with him, then quality time may be your language. You might have a morning devotional every day. You might have a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day you give specifically to him. You may have time set aside each week specifically for him. In my church, many choose to go to our temples in order to spend time with God.

(2) What do I most often complain to God about? For a quality time person, they most likely would claim that God feels distant to them. They might even think God doesn't have time for them.

(3) What do I request of God most often? Maybe you are asking Him to help you find time to spend with Him. Maybe you are asking Him for ways to spend time with other loved ones. If you are most often praying to have more time with Him or others, it's a good indicator that Quality Time is your love language.

Remember, there are many dialects of love languages. These can affect the way you express your love to God. You may choose to have more conversations with him. You may invite Him to be a part of all of your activities. You may find that meditation fills you up the best. Maybe you're sure you are quality time and you don't know your dialect with God. Try a variety of dialects. Play around with the idea. Ask yourself questions like “How can I spend time with God today?”

Is Quality Time your love language? What ways to you experience quality time with God? Leave a comment to let me know. If you can think of a loved one who is quality time, what do you notice they do to spend time with God?


With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

Golden Timing

I know you were probably expecting the next post in the love language series. I promise it's coming. I just felt that this post was more important.

As I was reading God Speaks Your Love Language (affiliate link) in preparation for my recent series, I  found this quote:

God loves us enough to allow us to stary from Him for a while if that is what it takes to create a fresh hunger for His presence.

I really liked the idea to remind us of His love for us. I think of my role as a parent. Although sometimes difficult, I will allow my children to suffer the consequences that I knew were coming. I knew it would hurt but not kill them or hurt them too deeply. I also knew that they needed that lesson now in order to prevent a bigger, more painful experience in the future.

This is how I perceive God to be with us. He knows what we are choosing and he knows the bigger picture. He allows us to go through hard times because he knows we have lessons to learn. If we don't learn them now, they get more painful. I can't imagine how it would be to watch so many people go astray, all of them His children.

These thoughts bring some others to mind. One thought is that God won't force us. He is always right there waiting. He's there ready to step in when we simply ask. Sometimes there are reasons he can't answer the prayers we seek but he's always right there, so ask. He will step in if he is allowed.

What do I mean by allowed? Well, when I believed that “God doesn't keep his promises” that belief blocked God from stepping in on any area that was a previous promise. He couldn't bless me with the things he had promised because I had a belief that he wouldn't. There are many variations of beliefs that can prevent Him. If you don't believe you are worthy of his help or blessings, how can He help you? Our own beliefs limit God's ability to help.

Now, let's talk about God's timing. I liked a recent phrase I heard, “It will come in the golden timing.” I love the idea of a golden time. It allows for my true thoughts on the timing to make so much more sense. To me, it's not really about “God's timing” but rather Him waiting until we are ready.

Let's say we are seeking a spouse. We've prayed earnestly. We are pretty sure we are ready, at least we think we are. We don't see all the other pieces that God does. More on that in a second. Let's say that God brings our spouse to us right when we ask. What if we had a hidden belief about our worthiness? We'll meet the guy of our dreams and quickly push him away because we just don't believe we are worthy. Now, if God doesn't give us him when we ask but actually waits until we are ready, we will know we are worthy of that dream and we will receive with open arms.

God's timing isn't about him. It's about us. That's why I like the idea of golden timing. It means that all of the right pieces are in place. You have the right beliefs, the other parties have the right beliefs, and it is time for magic because it is the golden timing.

Here is an interesting story on timing. Back in 2009, I was getting ready to file for divorce. I was filling out all of the papers and they were about ready to be turned in. I had a distinct prompting to wait. It wasn't easy but I waited until after the new year as I had been told. My former husband lost his job on New Years Day. Had I moved forward there would have been complications in the divorce and possibly in the mental health of all of the parties involved. It took me four more years before I finally got that divorce because some other things needed to fall in place before the timing was golden.

From this, I want you to know that God is always in favor of the golden timing. He rarely goes against that and when he does, it is for a higher purpose and lesson. He loves you so much that he will wait for you to be ready to have the relationship with you that he has always desired. He'll wait for you to let go of your anger. He'll wait for you to make time for him, or approach him in whatever ways are best for you. He's always there and he's always giving you little nudges to help you in the right direction.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

God Speaks Words of Affirmations

Last week, I introduced a series about God speaking your Love Language. Today, I want to dive specifically into what I have been learning and relearning about the Love Language of  Words of Affirmations, more specifically in relation to God. Read last week's post here.

As you may already know, there are many people who feel most loved when they hear words expressing love. The words “I love you” will be very important to them as well as the various dialects such as gratitude, words of encouragement, compliments, etc. They are great at speaking the words of their heart as well as feeling most loved through words.

What about God? Does God speak Words of Affirmations? Do these people feel loved by God and when and how?

This is actually one of the easiest languages to see how God speaks it. We have words of scriptures that are full of phrases about love. Often these people will feel God's love as they read the scriptures, as they listen to sermons, or even as they sing music about his love. If they aren't feeling loved by God, they may even feel more chastised by some of these as some parts of scripture can appear to be criticism. If they are not feeling God's love, then they would actually find it beneficial to immerse themselves in more of these activities. Spend time in scriptures and sermons. Reading or listening for God's love. During hard times, they are likely to have a phrase from a sermon or scripture come to mind to remind them of God's love, although this can happen for any type it will be more impactful for the words person.

To grow feelings of love in a relationship with God, it is good to speak your own language to God. For a words person, this could look like prayers full of gratitude and compliments for God's works. It could be what leads someone to be a preacher or speaker declaring God's love to others, spreading words of his love. They may also be inclined to join choirs expressing love through music. They are the choir members that really focus on the meaning of the words. They could write poetry, music, or other forms of declaring love to God.

I find it interesting to observe the people I interact with. I am in my church choir. Knowing what I know about love languages, I have seen three types of people end up in choirs the most. It's pretty easy to tell the words people because they rave about the words and the message being expressed. When they are the leader, they ask us to really think about the meaning of the words we are singing.

In my church, we have leaders that we call bishops. They get changed out about every five years. They are simply men being asked to serve as a leader for the congregation. They have no training in the clergy. They could have more or less training than the people they serve, just by the nature of their own studies in life. I had one such bishop that is obviously a words person.

This leader always referred people to articles put out by our church. He knew exactly where to find these words of wisdom and who said them. His awareness was uncanny. He was also prone to complimenting the congregation members and he gets really upset at the little word jabs some people do in jest. He's super sensitive to words. His sermons were always full of the love of God expressed in his words. He knew through what he read and heard that God loved him and he wanted everyone to know it and where to turn for that same feeling of love.

Some great questions that Dr. Chapman asks to help you discover your own language are these:

(1) How do I most often express my love to God? Are you expressing through the words you speak to and about Him? Are you using the words in a song to tell Him?

(2) What do I most often complain about to God? I think this line from the book is a great example for words people, “If someone complains that the pastor's sermons are rambling and meaningless, that person's primary love language probably is words of affirmation.” If you don't hear anything meaningful at church, you may question God's love for you.

(3) What do I request from God most often? If you are a words person, you may request wisdom or the right words to say. You might find yourself requesting messages.

Even if you aren't a words person, can you see your love language by asking these questions? Let me know in the comments.

If your primary or even your secondary love language is words of affirmation, how do you express love to God? How do you recognize his love for you? I would love to learn more so please let me know in the comments!


Click the image to get your copy of the book. (Yes, it's an affiliate link.)

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

God Speaks Your Love Language

One of my favorite subjects is Love Languages. I am pretty sure you have heard of the concept by now. It's pretty prevalent. Gary Chapman wrote his first book back in the 90s. He's written or co-written a few since then. I find out new things about the Love Languages each time I read one of his books.

My favorite book by him is “God Speaks Your Love Language”. Most of the Love Language books are based on the idea of finding out what someone's love language is and speaking their language to foster feelings of love in that person. Well, with God, it's not quite the same.

God speaks all of the love languages. He's not bound by our speaking a specific language to him. What he seeks from us is our ability to know He loves us, and our ability to spread and grow language toward him and others. With God, it's about learning to really speak your own language to Him, which will, in turn, allow you to feel more loved by Him. Then adding in the other languages as we learn and grow in our ability to speak love.

To remind you, here is a brief overview of each language in the order they are presented in this particular book. I'll be following up with a post specifically about each language and the ins and outs as I understand them of how they work with God.

Words of Affirmation is about using words to express your love. There are varying dialects so if you have a words person in your life, you might want to note the ones that they respond to most. There are words of encouragement, words of recognition, polite manners, gratitude, and more. It's really important that you use kind words with a words person because they are especially sensitive to criticism. This isn't to say that all people that are sensitive to criticism have the words love language but all who have the words love language will be sensitive to words.

Quality Time is about spending time with someone. For them, it is about being with the people. Sharing activities, having direct conversations without distractions of phones and such. Again there are dialects. Some will really enjoy just being in the same room as you and some will prefer to do specific types of activities. This is another area that if you believe your loved one is a quality time kind of person, be sure to also observe their favorite dialects.

Gifts is about symbols of love and thought. It can be one of the most challenging languages to have because it is often judged as being materialistic. This isn't true. It's not ever about the item you gift them, it's about the thoughts and feelings behind it. The gift says, “I think about you when I am not with you,” which is what they also do for you. There are dialects here too. Some have a dialect that involves food, some have a dialect that involves presence, some enjoy trinkets, and some especially love homemade. Pay attention to how you respond to a gift they give as well, it's important to them that the gifts they give are received well.

Acts of Service is about serving. They may love it when you provide for them, shelter, food, etc. They may love it when you vacuum or wash dishes. These people are naturally inclined to take care of you and your needs and often expect the same in return. I'll be honest, this one is my hardest to speak.

Physical Touch is about touch, of course. It can be hard for men to decipher the truth about this one because they are usually wired to love sex. Sex is important to a touch person and they will enjoy and crave other kinds of touch as well. They will usually love hugs, but may not care for hugs from people they don't actually care about. Wrestling, tickle fights, holding hands, etc might all be the deepest sense of love for them.

All of the Love Languages have dialects. It's always important to discover not only their love language but also the dialects they love the most. Some people will say there are more than five languages but I agree with Dr. Chapman that there are five languages with a lot of dialects.

One challenge is where they overlap. The gift of presence could look like quality time to the person who looks only at that one aspect. A gifts person may love cards which could cause you to think they are a words person. A service person might enjoy working alongside someone which could also be mistaken for quality time. With my own Love Language, I can see dialects within all of the other languages. This can be really hard to figure it out unless you look at the whole picture.

I think it's really important to know your own love language. It helps you to notice where you are speaking only your language. It helps you notice that someone else isn't speaking yours and that's why you doubt their love. It can help you see where you need more work, like how I struggle with service but have an important relationship that has service as the Love Language.

I found it interesting and beneficial to take the test in different ways. Here is where you can find all four tests. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ (The links to Amazon are affiliate but the ones to the love language quizzes are not.) I have taken the one for couples, even though I am currently single. I have taken the one for singles. I have taken the one for teens thinking of how I would have responded as a teen, which I found very insightful for me. I have even taken it as a child, trying to think of how I would have taken it if I were a child. I do always get the same answer for my main one and varying for the second, third, and fourth languages. Service is always last. :)

One thing to note, my sweet friend refers to the languages as layers. She talks about your dominant one being the one closest to the heart. It's the one we hear the best because it's right near our hearts. As the layers move out each getting further from the heart, we'll eventually get to the one furthest from our heart. This is the one that is hardest for us to believe. We do possess all five of the Love Languages.

Be sure to comment below what your love language is and why you feel it is important to know your language as well as others.

If you want to read “God Speaks Your Love Language” you can use this link or click on the image.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.