What if your home felt like you? What if you could completely be yourself in all areas of life? How would that feel? How would your world be different?
The best thing about the book is that she walks you through finding your one word, or in my case short phrase, that is what your Soul's Agenda is. It's based on the idea that our Souls came here to experience a certain kind of feeling. Not a new concept, right?
The difference is, she takes you through a process to find a word that describes what your Soul came here to feel. For me, that phrase is Bigger Than Life. Once you know your word, you'll then define it. This is important because this isn't about what society thinks the word means. It's about a definition that inspires you. You'll also come away with a Soul Agenda statement. Mine is:
My Soul's agenda is to feel Bigger Than Life and to invite you to experience the same.
Once you have your word and definition, you can apply it to every amazing experience you've had and see that yes, it was a perfect way to describe that memory. You can use it to create experiences in the future that will bring that feeling about. She even teaches you how to use it to make decisions. The first part is, which of these will cause me to feel (insert soul agenda word here)? She has a tip for if neither choice matters.
After you know your Soul's agenda, you'll learn how your Soul has been living on purpose your whole life. I was raised with the idea that you can't feel bliss if you haven't felt pain. That basically to know what a positive feeling feels like, you have to experience the opposite.
There are two sides to every feeling. We focus on what we want and label what we don't as being bad. What if it wasn't bad but rather an opportunity to learn what it feels like to be in the opposite of what you want to feel? The Soul's Agenda wants to feel both in order to fully experience its agenda. You'll define the opposite of your Soul's Agenda and see where that also applies to every horrible experience you had.
With this information in hand, you have choices. Do you want to learn the lesson or repeat the lesson? Do you want to stay in whatever negative feeling you have? If yes, awesome, do it. I suggest also saying, “I feel this (insert negative feeling) fully and completely.” If you want to feel it, really feel it. If your answer is no, then you can easily say, “I release this feeling and choose to feel (insert positive here.)”
I hope you decide to read the book. I promise, whatever word you think might be yours isn't likely right. I thought mine might be freedom. Freedom is a part of my definition, but the word doesn't come close to explaining how Bigger Than Life feels.
Today, as of writing this, I was thinking about some of the tools that I don't always use in my home. I gave myself a solution so that I too would apply this one particular tool on a regular basis.
Remember my post about my daily planning? You can read it here if you've forgotten or haven't read it yet. Today, I realized that it is super important that I have 8 areas that I ask about. I must ask about my home.
This is how it works.
After I have asked about the 7 areas in my life from the previous post, I ask:
“What can I do for my home today?” This morning my answer was clean the bathroom sink.
“What part of my life does that correlate with?” My answer was my inner peace and self-image.
“What thoughts or feelings do I have about the area and task?” For me, I feel frustrated kids haven't been doing it.
“How does that apply to my life?” I kind of did an “Oh crap” moment as I realized that I have been expecting God to fix things for me.
Now that I have that information, I will clean that area and I will look at what I can do about fixing my own inner peace and self-image. God is there to support me and help me when I've done what I can, but it isn't his job to fix the problem. There is much I can do to keep the bathroom counter clean and still allow my kids to have their job. In fact, if I take care of my makeup and hair supplies the kids will find it easier to do their part. How is that perfect in allowing God to do his part?
I invite you to tune into your life by using your home as a magnifying glass. Ask yourself the same questions.
What can I do for my home today?
What part of my life does that correlate with?
What thoughts and feelings do I have about the area and tasks?
How does that apply to my life?
As I'm working in my home, what can I do for my life?
What ahas did you get? I'd love to hear in the comments below!
Today, I want to talk about choices. I think sometimes we forget that we can choose.
Yesterday, I was getting ready for a meeting. I had been feeling anxious about the meeting because of some earlier experiences with this person.
I decided it was time to change things. I asked myself some questions like this. What am I feeling? Often, we just say we feel angry when really, we are feeling sad and that anger is acting as protection. Maybe we are afraid, and the anger is once again a secondary emotion. Getting to the bottom of our feelings can really help us to get through this. The funny thing for me this time is that I had healed the underlying feelings and was just left with this feeling of defensiveness. Identifying defensiveness allowed me to choose the next step.
Do I want to stay defensive? My answer was no. Amazing that for me, that was all it took. I felt myself relax. Sometimes, our answer is yes, or in another situation, I got half as my answer. I was able to let go of the half and allowed myself to keep the other half. Too often, we don't allow ourselves to stay angry if we want to. If we allow ourselves to stay in a negative emotion if that's what we desire, we'll actually be ready to let it go easier and faster. Feelings aren't bad, we all feel all kinds of things. It is what we do while we are feeling that way that is bad. If I choose to journal my feelings, that's a healthy expression. If I choose to harm another, that's an unhealthy expression. The feeling was never the problem so if you feel like staying in a negative feeling, then do it for a while.
After I let go of the feeling of defensive, I asked myself what I wanted to feel instead. I think this is an important step. We have a habit of going to certain feelings but if we can give our subconscious a feeling to seek, we'll go there instead. Yesterday, I chose curiosity. Instead of feeling defensive that her ideas would not work for me, I chose to be curious about her ideas. This allowed me to stay open to insight that could add to her ideas and make them work for both of us. In the end, it was an incredible meeting and I felt better without that defensiveness hanging around.
I'm inviting you to try it. In fact, let's bring this into the home for an experiment. Pick one area of your home that is bugging you. Overwhelm? Fear? Define the feelings you feel about that area. Now that you have it defined, ask yourself if you would like to stay feeling that way. If you get a no, then notice how much releases. If it isn't releasing, then try this phrase, “I am feeling this fully, and completely and then I release it completely.” Once you have the feeling gone, ask yourself what you would like to feel instead. Follow with saying, “I feel _____ about this.” You can also ask, “Why do I feel ____ about this?” Like my choice to feel curious, I could say, “I feel curious about this,” or, “Why do I feel curious about this?”
How did it go? I would love to hear from you so go ahead and leave a comment below!
When one studies a lot about the home and how it can serve you, one gets led to some interesting videos. I have really loved a couple and so I wanted to share them with you. One part of me says that is counter-intuitive and the other part of me says, it's not about who shares the message, it's about the message and getting it out there.
Today's share is about some of what makes people different. Sometimes, we read a book, watch a video, or see a person then we think, “Okay, I can do this.” After a while, we fail. Why? Is it something wrong with you? Absolutely not; you are great and wonderful the way you are. Is there something wrong with the system? No, it's a great system. The reality is, there are so many systems out there because there are so many different kinds of people. The system isn't right for you, or at least not right now. It's finding the right system for you, at the right time of your life.
I remember when I was doing the FlyLady system. I struggled like mad with the daily tasks, but I thrived on weekly tasks. I remembered how I had created a weekly laundry system for myself when my oldest was little. I was so good at following those weekly routines I had set. Why didn't I do so well on the daily? I would beat myself up thinking something is wrong with me.
It's not that there was anything wrong with me. It's just that I'm more of a bigger picture planner with a flair for spontaneity. I love to set weekly intentions that I then look at each day to see if there is something right for me to do today. I love weekly routines but when it gets more detailed like a daily, I get all locked up and do nothing.
Although this video is about organizing your home, I'm currently enjoying some changes to my time planning. Slowly, I've evolved a system that works great for me. I'll share that with you, just in case there are some things that work for you.
I use a dot-grid journal. I tried the bullet journal style of doing things, but it just didn't feel right for me. I loved writing and drawing in the dot grid, so I continue to use it. I love making a monthly spread and I have finally found some weekly spread ideas that I love. I had a recent change with an announcement from my church, so this is what it looks like now.
Each month, I create a monthly calendar and note the important dates. I then set a goal in four areas. A spiritual goal, a social goal, a physical goal, and an intellectual goal. I had been trying to do seasonal goals but even though I like the bigger pictures, this idea never quite sat right with me. I'd do great for about a month and then I'd start finding other things to do instead. For me, monthly is a great chunk of time to make a goal for.
Each week, I create my weekly calendar and note more detailed events. I have a couple of trackers but not many because I can get overwhelmed with those details. I look at each of the four monthly goals and ask myself what I can do on them this week. I don't really have a great routine going right now because my work schedule varies so much.
Each day, I create my daily spread. I have a monthly theme, Halloween this month, and I draw a little sketch each day. This is important for me because I love to look at what I did and often show off the cute little pics to my friends and family. It's so much easier to look back on my page and see the fun images which then encourages me to finish my daily tasks.
Here's where my planning gets even more detailed but not in an overwhelming way. I get in tune with my Higher Power and we plan some things for my day. I start with some questions. What can I do for my weekly goals today? I then go through seven areas asking similar questions. Sometimes I get a few things; sometimes I get “do nothing.” I find the more in tune I am when I plan these things, the more likely I am to get them done.
The seven areas are:
God. It's super important to start with your higher power. If you don't have one, get one. The higher self, God, the universe, a tree, or whatever. Something that you can have a daily council with. What can you do today to have an increase in that relationship?
Self. We can't take care of others if we are falling apart. Too often, especially for us women, we put others' needs before our own to the point that we break down. It's important to take care of ourselves. What does your body need today? What do you need to do for yourself today?
Sweetheart. I do this even though he hasn't shown up yet. I ask if there is anything I can do for this relationship. Sometimes there is, other times it is to remember that he is here for me. This remembering will bring him closer vs the doubt that would push him away. After the kids are grown and gone, will this relationship stand? That's why it is the first relationship after God and self. This is the person we love and want to be with forever so take care of it.
Family. It is up to you to decide who belongs in this category. They may be by blood and they may even be those super close friends. What can you do for this area of your life? Who do you need to connect with?
Friends and extended family. Again, this is an area that it is up to you to decide who belongs here. What can you do today for this area? We never know the impact we can have when we follow the simplest of promptings here. We could get our own answers or help a friend who was really struggling.
Community. This area is quite large. Have you noticed that we're working our way out, each area a little bigger than the rest? This area is your neighborhood, your workplace, businesses, church groups, other social groups, schools, etc. These are the people you have contact with in some way. This is where this blog comes in for me. What can we do for work today? What can we do for church? Who do I need to connect with?
The world. This one can be quite surprising. Sometimes, I get “simply shine.” Other times, I'm inspired to make a video, write a fb post, or even blog. I know that those often belong in my community area but it's not about pigeonholing things, it's about following the ideas that come. A world idea could be doing something with your family. That will then create a chain reaction that impacts the world. We just never know. What can you do for the world today? What is your reach, your impact?
As I have implemented this form of planning in my life, I feel more fulfilled. I may do things that are not on the list, I may do very little. Today was mostly a day of rest. My body needed it and so even though it was a day off, the list was quite small with a couple of areas having nothing to do. My goal is to tune in each day and ask. My Higher Power sees things that I don't, so who better to plan with?
Here is the video. She's talking about organizing your home and I hope you find great inspiration both from me and from her. I wish you the solutions you are seeking, the ones just right for you!
I recently read a book by Ani Anderson called, “Find Your Soul's Agenda: The one word that will make your whole life a success”. (Yup, this is an affiliate link.) In this book, she talked about her journey to a word that would change her life.