It has been so long since I have written. I sometimes wonder why. Why do I not do the things I claim to love?
There is vulnerability in writing. There is vulnerability in letting my point of view into the world. Of allowing people to read the thoughts in my heart. That is a pretty scary thing to do.
The thoughts come flying in, sometimes I don't even know they are there but they are. Little voices in my head,. Little hidden voices, “What if they don't like you? What if they criticize your writing? What if you offend someone with your point of view? What if the (insert name of person or organization) read what you write and don't like what they read? What if you find out in a year or two that everything you wrote was wrong?” Do you have these voices too? Maybe your voices say different things but I imagine they all feel the same.
Where do they come from? What purpose do they serve? Do they serve a purpose?
The voices are a part of our ego. An ego that is designed to keep you safe. Your ego cherishes you. It loves life and wants to live. All these thoughts are programmed to keep us safe.
That sounds like quite a stretch some days, doesn't it? There is no way that these fears and even negative self-talk telling us we are stupid or ugly or whatever could be protecting us. That's just a silly thought. What if it were true?
If you believe you are ugly, then you won't step into the light and then you won't get hurt. "Success," says the little thought. "I am keeping you safe here in the shadows." If you think you are stupid, you won't share your voice. If you are not heard, you cannot be rejected. "You will live and won't be hurt," thinks the little voice. "Success." On goes the thoughts in our head. On they go protecting us.
These little thoughts found their birth early in our life. In the very earliest days. One of my favorite things is finding where these little voices began and sending so much unconditional love and truth that they must release. Then the other voices can speak up. The voice that says, “You are so beautiful. Let yourself be seen. You are so smart. If you speak up, then you will fill the mind of another and together you will be lifted.”
Imagine living a life where the little voices in your head realized that to truly live, you get to do those vulnerable things. That's where the living really happens. Safety is in reaching out.
Thank you so much for reading. Until next time,
Michele