Accentuate the Positive

My dear friends,

Things have been so hard lately. I haven't been able to do so much and it's been so discouraging. I have felt very much like a fraud.

On November 8th, I had an accident at work. Because it's worker's comp, it has been taking a long time to get anywhere. A month after the accident, I had the official diagnosis. The ligament broke away from the bone and there was a hairline fracture. I broke my knee and surgery is required.

I had an aha tonight that was quite interesting. I was journaling a year in review. I was writing about my job and the toll it was taking on me and then about my accident. I mentioned that I broke my knee and it was my soul screaming “you need a break.” Is it a surprise I broke my knee? I got a physical break in my knee and it's forced me to take it really easy.

Emotionally, this has been crazy. Unable to carry anything, for my hands are occupied with crutches. Unable to do my own laundry. I can't even take a shower by myself. This has been hard.

One of the hardest parts has been an absolute frustration with the state of my home and my feelings of inability to do anything about it. I have literally felt like I couldn't do anything, which of course is an absolute that isn't true. I have been limited but there are still things I can do.

How many times do we say absolutes like that? How many times do we prevent ourselves from achieving anything because we have gone into a negative absolute?

I learned a game called “What If Up” and the point is to spiral up not down. Instead of going down the what-if cycle of despair, you consciously choose to go up. What if I was so powerful I could ask and my home would be cleaned? What if the worker's comp approved surgery so fast and I get my surgery right away? What if my home were as peaceful as I desire it to be?

I know the pieces of my life have been falling into place. It's been an interesting couple of weeks watching it happen. I desired to get my children pajamas for Christmas and the way was provided. They finally called for my son's testing. I have been led to some incredible resources to help me succeed and be ME. All of this from changing my perspective.

It started like this. I was frustrated and telling my friend that it felt like things were falling apart. I then gave myself permission to have things fall apart. Well, when I do that, I follow with a positive. I give myself permission for things to come together. I give myself permission for things to fall into place. When I did that there was so much energy shifting and it was the next day that I got the means to buy pajamas and the call about testing. When I repeated some clearings about things coming together was when other things synchronistically showed up.

Imagine your life if you played what up games or gave yourself permission for positive things to happen!

Things still aren't perfect for me but I'm sure doing my best to focus on the positives. My life is coming together and I have peace in my life. What about you?

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

P.S. Happy New Year!

Intuitive Coach and Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

It's About That Feeling

What do you want to feel in your home?

For me, the answer is easy. I have thought years about what I want my home to feel like. For the longest time, I didn't know how to describe it. I remember going into other people's houses and feeling something. I loved being there and I knew that I wanted that in my home.

As I have worked with different people, I've noticed that we all want something from our homes. Some people are looking for a peaceful haven, some are looking for an escape from the world, others are looking for a place of gathering and family.

As you are deciding what you want your home to be, think about these things. Do you want your entire home to feel one way? For me, this is the case. I want people to walk into my home and feel a peace that they want to feel in their homes. Maybe you want a home that has a different feeling depending on the room. Maybe you want the family room to feel fun and the bedroom to feel restful.

Close your eyes and imagine you're looking at your ideal home. It can be the home you are living in, or it can be that dream home you will have someday. Take a deep breath and feel the joy of knowing that is your home and it's just right for you.

Now, walk through the front door. What do you feel as you walk in? Write the word or words that best describe that feeling. Look around and take it in, the feeling and any details you notice. Are there certain colors you need to note? Certain shapes, smells, etc. Are there people there or are you alone? Write it all down because there is a message in each little detail that you become aware of.

After a while in this first room, walk through each room of the house. Note the same things. First, note the feeling and then note the details. Write them all down.

If this is the home you are living in, what can you do right now to bring that feeling into each room? Can you bring the colors in, the smells, the shapes? What is the next step to creating the home you want?

If this was your dream home, what can you do to bring those feelings into the place where you are now? We need to surround ourselves with those feelings now if we want to be aligned with those feelings when we move in. Can we use some of those colors and smells in our current place? Are there things we own that don't fit that feeling? Are there things we need to add to bring in those feelings? What is your next step?

Here is an assignment for you. Every day imagine your home. Tune into those feelings again. Follow it up by asking yourself, “What would it take to bring this feeling into my home?” When you get an answer, act on it.

Feel free to review last week's post about What Would It Take.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover

Super sorry for missing last week. I have been thinking about this post all week and I would try and write it and it wouldn't work. I'd end up venting about something in life or I'd be writing and my mind would be connecting the dots. The problem was when my mind is connecting the dots like that, my thoughts are super disjointed and you'd be confused. So, here we are Monday morning and I refuse to miss two weeks in a row. This will be a get what you get non-edited post.

One of the thoughts I was trying to put together was about how there are different types of people with money and how that compares to the home. For instance, there are people that love saving. They feel like they are financially free when they have a certain amount in savings. There are certain people that feel financially free when they are investing. There are other people that feel financially free when they have plenty of money to spend. I'm not a spender but that would be my area. I long to be able to buy without budgeting to the penny.

In homes, we have people that are instinctively organized. We have people who love to clean. We have people who hate cleaning. We have hoarders. We have minimalists. We have collectors. We have people who toss like no one will miss it. You might fall somewhere in the middle of one or more of these dichotomies.

What I have noticed is that a pretty discouraging thinking process is comparison. If you are a hoarder, you might find yourself comparing yourself to a minimalist. Then what happens? You start beating yourself up and telling yourself you should do better and you just need to get rid of all of your stuff, which then overwhelms you and you get stuck.

Imagine what would happen if you didn't compare. Maybe you'd decide that you have an excess and it's time to get organized. You'd decide it might be time to get rid of a few things. Because you aren't comparing, you could listen to your heart tell you what you are ready to let go of. You wouldn't be beating yourself up for keeping something that you aren't ready to let go of. You'd love and value yourself for where you are right now. You might even let go of more things because you are valuing yourself where you are. You wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be like so-and-so and so the overwhelm wouldn't come.

The person who is what we call “born organized” might actually not be someone you want to be. They may have a severe OCD going on. They need everything in a perfect place because their brain is so out of sorts that they are putting extra pressure on their environment to be perfect. The hoarder might be keeping all of their stuff because they are afraid they will need it one day. They could also have OCD that is such that they can't get it perfect right now so they won't do anything and then it gets too much. We all have our own stories and reasons why we are experiencing life the way we are. When we look at someone's book cover, we may not realize the crazy story that is inside.

Instinctively, we know that too much stuff is weighing us down. What do you need to learn from your stuff? What is your story?

Is your stuff protection to you? Where did it start? What are you protecting yourself from? Is it really still needed? What is the next step to change the story?

Are you keeping your stuff because you may need it one day? Is that even your story or did you inherit it from your ancestor that lived in the great depression when people really did need to keep things? Are you ready to let that story go?

When you release these stories, you can listen to your heart a little better. You can know if you are keeping food storage out of fear or out of obedience. You can know what brings you joy and what you no longer need. You can live in abundant thinking knowing that you will always have exactly what you need, so letting things go is easier.

When we stop comparing, we can look at our own stories. We can decide what stories to keep and what ones to let go. If you need some help in this kind of thing, there are plenty of coaches, mentors, and healers like myself to engage in the work. The important things are looking only at yourself and letting go of the comparison game.

Much love to you!

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Beyond the Clutter

Writing a blog post for this week has been an adventure. I'm at a venture in my home healing project. That is such a funny word to write. I looked it up because I wanted to know what it really meant. Venture: a risky or daring journey or undertaking, according to the Oxford dictionary result in my Google search.

The truth is, for me that's how it felt. I have gotten to a point where I finally have decluttered most of my stuff. I have very little to go through now. When it comes to what I can do in my home, my answers have now become decorating ideas instead of decluttering.

Decorating? You wouldn't think that would be a risky adventure. Here's the deal, decorating brings up a whole list of beliefs and fears I didn't even realize I had.

There are beliefs I learned from my mom. Her phrase, “I can never have nice things because of you kids.” I realized that I have a similar idea that parents with kids at home can't have nice things. The nice homes are for the people who have all of their kids out of the house. When I ask myself if it's true, I am reminded of people I know who have nice homes and kids at home.

There are beliefs about what kind of person buys decorating things. Funny as my current job is at Hobby Lobby. We have a lot of crafts but in the center of the store is home decor. This means I am seeing a lot of decorating items being bought by everyday people. I catch the crazy beliefs coming up. Do they need any of this? No, need isn't the right word, but they want it and there really is nothing wrong with wanting a pretty home.

Um, that's not what my subconscious says. As I look at a little of what I have done in my home, it both makes me smile and makes me cringe. Money beliefs, family beliefs, ideas about having nice things, frivolous things. They're all coming up.

For me, this is a huge change in how I look at and deal with homes and the people who love them. I knew clutter expressed how we are feeling inside, why didn't I let myself see the truth about decorating?

This is the thing about your home. Just as we have layers to the beliefs, emotions, and thoughts inside of us, we'll have layers in our homes. When you get through the clutter layers, you may find some surprising things underneath. What was your clutter protecting you from? Mine was protecting me from being a “selfish and vain person” among other things.

I'm excited to take on these next beliefs. What about you? Are you ready for the next layer?

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Make Me Small

Years ago, early in my decluttering process, I found myself with about a week's worth of clothes in the closet that took up about 6 inches of space. My husband at the time had clothes that took up about a yard of space. I was getting rid of nearly anything I had control of, which meant my clothes were easy to send away. Why?

There are different causes of what I would refer to as extreme clutter. Nearly everyone who hasn't decluttered has things they can let go of. Those people who easily let go of things don't look at those few things as clutter. Clutter happens when you have too much stuff or too little space. It's really when you don't have a home for everything, and you can't find what you need.

My children were young. We were getting ready to have my 5th child. I had a teenager and three little people 4 years old and younger. We lived in a two-bedroom apartment. We had dressers in the front room. We had a three-month supply of food storage in boxes lining our dining room. We squeezed multiple beds and a crib in one room. I was a space utilizing queen. I had the kind of clutter that came from too little space.

I started the FlyLady system. I was cleaning out whatever I could. I couldn't touch the husband's clothes, so I would take care of mine. Even with all my efforts, I heard over and over that we had too much stuff. It hurt so much because I knew I was doing my best and the real problem was the size of our place.

It's funny looking back. I didn't get each babies clothes down to a week's worth, just my own. I talked my teenage son into going down to 30 t-shirts. I encouraged my husband to weed out a few of his clothes. It was mine that had to go. I was trying to make sure I didn't take up too much space. I was making ME small.

Internally, it was okay for those wonderful kids to have what they needed. They needed the space. They needed the clothes. They deserved to take up space, but I didn't. My decluttering efforts were about what I could get rid of to take up very little space. It played out in life.

I stopped playing the piano so I wouldn't compete with my husband. I stopped trusting my intuition. I was the one who did the budget and I'd make sure he had money to spend on whatever he wanted, no matter how little we had. I'd occasionally give myself some spending money and then spend it all on him and the kids. By the end of my marriage, I didn't know who I was. I decluttered myself away and tried to take up as little space in the world as I could.

This kind of decluttering isn't healthy. This mindset isn't healthy.

As I've healed, there have been stages of healing. In the last 9 years, I've lived in the same place with my mom. I went from living in a family room without a door to having my own room with a door. I didn't think I was worth my own space 9 years ago. Now, I created boundaries and declared to myself that I deserved a room of my own. It's been a process to get where I am today, one of great healing.

I'm no longer looking for what to get rid of. I'm no longer trying to make myself as small as possible. I'm looking for joy. Keeping what brings joy. Surrounding myself with joyful things. I'm finding ways to let my light out and grow. I laugh more than I ever remember laughing in my life.

Things aren't perfect. I still have some things to go through, things to declutter and beliefs to sort through. I know that there will be great healing in the process. It's okay to be where I am because I can see how really far I have come.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele