Simplifying My Kitchen

I am kind of in an in-between place. A type of limbo if you will. On the one hand, I am still highly aware of and intentionally looking at what happens in the home in order to assist healing. On the other hand, I am unlocking some incredible gifts with sound. I know they somehow work together but that is where the limbo lies. I am just not sure how yet. Because I am kind of in a bit of an unknown area, I'll talk about what I have done with the kitchen dishes. I let so many dishes go. 

When I was a little girl, my dad would say he wished we each just had one cup, one bowl, one plate, etc. That idea stuck in my mind but I didn't act on it. I had often thought as a young parent that it was a good idea but I wasn't willing to even try. 

I came across a YouTuber that has done that. She has one dish set for each member of her family. She started with a quarantine box, she had the term before the 2020 drama. It's a box that you put the dishes you don't think you will need. It's kind of the safety net before you actually get rid of things. The chance to see if you like it or if you will miss certain items and pull them out.

We got rid of so many dishes. Normally, I wouldn't have considered them clutter, although I did think we had too many of some things. I just was raised with having an abundance of dishes. 

I am choosing to look at my kitchen as always having what we need. Not too much, not too little, just what is perfect for us. I kept extra dishes on the top shelf as I have grandkids that occasionally come over. It's a bit crazy to see so few things in our cupboards and yet it is so nice.

I noticed I had some anxiety at first. This was weird for me because I have been decluttering for so long that I find it easy to let go. I realized that I was anxious because I had let my mind choose what to keep not my heart. I didn't joy test the dishes. I looked through the boxes, pulled out a couple of things, and the anxiety left. Now they have been donated, so there is no going back.

Here is what amazes me. It is impossible to get behind. Even if we don't wash dishes before bed, there are only a handful that have to be washed before the next dinner. They can't go more than that because there aren't enough plates. It's been so nice having so few dishes to wash. I can quickly tidy up and it's heaven.

I don't know if it's the right decision for everyone. I say if you have any curiosity, pull out a box for quarantining. Start with your eating dishes. Pull everything out and keep only one plate per person, one bowl, one cup, and see what happens for a few days when each person only has one set of dishes. If you find it liberating like I do, then move onto another area. Do you need all of your pans? What about the mixing bowls? Do you have too many storage containers for your needs? How about spatulas, whisks, and other cooking utensils.

As you simplify your dishes, how does this affect your sense of self? How does it affect other areas of the home? What do the dishes represent for you? For me, they seem to represent my overwhelm level and I can say, my dishes no longer overwhelm me.

Maybe this isn't right for you and so you decide to take all of the dishes back out of the quarantine box. It's okay. It will all turn out perfectly. Amazing sometimes to believe but it really will all work out.

Lots of love,

Michele

What Could Have Been

I have been watching a British show called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I found it on YouTube. The basis of the show is taking volunteers who are OCD with an emphasis on cleaning whether for germs, order, or both. These volunteers then go into a hoarder's home, usually not been cleaned in years. They get 4 days to get the house as clean as possible. It's been fascinating to watch.

I have a bit of OCD myself. Not the cleaning one but I can be a bit obsessive about some things in my home. I get kind of stuck on things and find it really hard to feel at peace with things. I don't quite know how to explain it. Mostly my OCD comes in the form of Scrupulosity which is a moral or religious OCD in which I have to live just right.

For this reason, I can really relate to some of what the OCD people are feeling. Not completely but I at least know that it is a compulsion they have little if any control over.

I have also experienced depression to the point of letting my whole house go. Feeling so overwhelmed by the stuff that I have no clue where to start. I have never been to a hoarder level but before I learned to declutter, I had quite a bit of stuff that overwhelmed me. I still have a lot of areas I haven't been able to get to for various reasons.

For this reason, I can really relate to the hoarders too. I know there are a lot of reasons for hoarding and not cleaning. I know that it's a spectrum and all of the people on that show are to one extreme or the other. They all have some deep wounds somewhere in their psyche.

Tonight as I watched, I started crying. Right now, I am coming to the end of my first challenge. The challenges are a month long and I do 11 healing sessions for all of the group members. I give tips when I can and I love the group for the accountability it provides to me. It's really hard to let it slide when I feel like I have all my group members counting on me to set an example. You can learn about it and join the next one here. I accept new members through the 10th of each month.

Back to why I was crying. My mom has been gone for six months. There are a lot of feelings all around. I have been cleaning out her room this month. I have taken over ten large trash bags of garbage out of that room, and I'm not really done. We have lived here for 10 years and although she made attempts at cleaning, she never really cleaned it the whole time. She was a hoarder. Not to the extent of many of those people on TV but she was a hoarder.

As I watched the show tonight, I kept thinking, “Why didn't I help her? Why didn't I offer to spend a day here and there going through the stuff with her? Why did I allow her to get so bad?”

As I was thinking, I had the thought, “For the same reason you couldn't tell her you loved her until a month before she passed.” I sigh.

There is a healing tool that I used in March with my mom. It is as simple as saying a sentence and believing it works. “I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness I have for my mom. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness my mom has for me. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness between my mom and me.”

What happens is somewhere back in time, trapped energy collected in one or both of us that was like what some people call a broadcast message. It's like there was a wall or sign that prevented certain behavior. Like she held up a sign to me that says, “You must treat me this way,” and I had to treat her that way. Maybe I was holding a sign in front of my own eyes that says, “Mom is like this so I must behave like that.” It doesn't matter which one of us has the energy or what they really said. It was the fact that they existed that was the challenge.

For years, I tried and tried to tell my mom I loved her. I could tell all of my children, every guy I dated, and even some other relatives that I loved them. When it came to my mom, I couldn't do it. It drove me crazy and I was constantly trying to figure it out.

When I did the clearing statements, I didn't do it thinking about the love situation. I just wanted to clear the energy away so I could be me, the real me, with my mom. It was a pleasant surprise that I was able to say “I love you” as I desired to. My mom was surprised too! It took her a moment and then she replied in like. After that, I found it quite easy to tell her that I loved her. 

I had to do another clearing statement when she said, “I love you too.” I would think, “No, you don't,” or, “Yeah, right.” So, I used the clearing statement, “That's an interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” I got that and the concept for the impediment work from Access Consciousness. They have some good tools and some not as great tools. :)

I was so grateful as my mom entered the hospital to have all those thoughts cleared up. I could tell her of my love and hear her reply and know that it was all true. I kept wishing I would have known sooner because the last month of her life was so sweet with that barrier gone.

I don't know what all thoughts were between my mom, me, and the clutter. Some about me thinking her unwilling to hear me or let me help. Some about her own beliefs that she could never get it done. Who knows what all was there.

Now, here I am. Making headway in her former room. Working bit by bit to declutter the whole house of all the garbage she left. I seek for and find the hidden treasures of her love. We let a lot go to the thrift store and a whole lot to the dump. Eventually, the only things left will be the reminders of love that spark incredible joy.

I can't let myself get caught up in the what could have beens. They weren't. Things are what they are. I can only go forward and send compassion to the past. We all did the best we knew how at the time.

My wish for you is to send compassion and forgiveness to the past. Clear away the limiting thoughts and energy from the now. Move forward with more love and joy than ever!

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

The Rhythm of Life

In, out. Up, down. Energized, tired. Life is full of rhythms. Rhythms are even found in the seasons. It's a cycle of up and down with the summer being up and the winter being down. The spring and fall are the transition periods of moving into the next phase. We see the same with the moon. Full is up and new is down.

We currently live in a society that doesn't work with the rhythms. We push through the down phases and are often so exhausted we can't benefit from the up phases. Then life gives us a reason to pause, whether we want it or not.

I, myself have moved into a required winter phase. A winter phase is a period of rest. It's a place of reflection and nourishment. It's a period where the energies are lower and the nights are longer. If we were to live a life where we slowed down in the winter and truly used it as a time for reflection, we'd have so much more energy in the summer.

Even in my required winter phase, I won't be able to rest like I really need to. At work last Friday, I fell. I ended up in urgent care and finally a knee brace. My knee is currently diagnosed as severely sprained. We're waiting until swelling has gone down to determine if there is more to this than originally thought.

With an injured knee, I should be resting. I should be using this time to go inward and reflect as I rest my body. Since the accident, I have been doing this. The problem is I still need to feed my family. The doctor only said I couldn't work until the 10th. Oh, sure there are restrictions but guess where I will most likely be tomorrow and if I can't go, I'll go without pay. They'll set up a chair at the register and I really don't see how that can work, the registers are designed for standing work. I'll not be able to put my leg up.

This is how our society works. A person gets sick and unless they are so bad they can't move, they are at work. Our jobs expect it. One fellow employee came to work with Strep.  Not only was she not taking care of herself, but she was also infecting the rest of us. I don't usually get it but I got a little because my body has been so tired from work.

If we can, we need to be following the rhythms of our own bodies. If our body is tired, rest. Get your sleep, take it easy, choose reflective activities, etc. Stop pushing through and listen to your body. Sleep when your body says sleep. When you replenish your body, you will have the strength to do activities again. If you don't, it's because your body has been so overworked that it has gone into a phase of required rest.

Seasons. We have winter. This is the period of rest. I don't know about you but I feel like hibernating. Unfortunately, society has a different plan. We have one of the most beautiful and yet exhausting holidays right in the middle of winter for my part of the world. If you don't believe me, hang out at Hobby Lobby for a day. The number of people we have coming in to get an early start on their Christmas prep is astounding. Instead of resting, we're shopping, decorating, having parties and gatherings galore. Those gatherings are a big deal so they take a lot of work.

We move from these crazy holiday activities to the new year. Setting goals and reflecting on the old and new years are perfect activities but we aren't planning our goals wisely. Instead of looking at the seasons we're anxious to jump into our goals right away. We burn out because we're starting these major goals in the middle of the rest season.

In spring, we start to get some great energy. We get super excited and then we make a mistake. We do too much. Think of spring as the waking up period. Sure we have a lot of energy but it's not like we're in our most energetic phase. It's a transition season. We'll have a burst of energy followed by a need to rest. If we were to plan our activities accordingly, then we'd do a little more activity then we did in rest. We'd choose smaller activities to work with the small burst and we'd save the big activities for when we have a lot of energy in the summer.

Summer is a time of full-on energy. The days are long, most of us are getting our vitamin D directly from the best source. We tend to have more energy. If we have planned our new year's goals according to season then this is the time when we can get the majority of that accomplished.

We move into fall and we are in a winding-down stage of the year. We start to get a little more tired. The weather sends us indoors more. We're harvesting the fruits of our labor and hopefully storing for winter.

This cycle will happen to some degree no matter where you live in the world. You may not see a full-on winter cycle in your part of the world. You may be in a completely different cycle if you are in the opposite part of the world, Christmas in summer sounds great to me. Some places don't really have transition periods, they seem to go straight from one to the other. If you are aware of the seasons around you, you will be able to work with what you have.

Let's move on to a smaller cycle. This is the cycle of the moon. Most women know that they are affected by the moon. How their own monthly cycles fit in is something they get to figure out. A good idea is to track your own energy in relation to the moon. I was surprised to note that as we get closer to the full moon I have more emotional energy then I had when the moon was new. I hadn't realized how affected by the moon I really am.

If you can realize how you are responding to the moon, then you can plan your monthly activities to coincide with your energy. Big projects during the full moon. Reflective activities during the new moon.

Now, imagine if you took your daily cycles and planned that way. You'd sleep when it's time for sleep. You'd notice when you have the most energy and plan your activities accordingly.  You'd rest, even for a few minutes if necessary, when you are tired. Instead, we push through and then wonder why we get burned out.

Let's look at your homes for a minute. How can you apply these principles of rhythm in your home? Maybe it would be a good idea to set up a cleaning cycle that works with the moon. Smaller and more reflective tasks around the new moon and those big items around the full moon. Maybe you have a room that takes more energy to clean, choose to clean it during the full moon. When are the spring and fall of your day? Choose smaller tasks that don't take much energy to do for the spring of your day. Take a moment in the fall of your day to appreciate the fruits of your labor. Take these same principles and add them to every part of your life, to the best of your ability.

Once upon a time, the majority of society lived this way. We didn't have electricity and lamps weren't great to do work by so when the sun went down, people went to bed. They did less physical work in the winter and a lot of work in the summer. They lived off of the land and in harmony with the cycles of the land. In my ideal world, we're doing similar again. We're living in harmony with the rhythms of life.

What season is your life in? Are you taking full advantage of that? Me, I'll be resting as much as I possibly can.

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the souls who love them.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover

Super sorry for missing last week. I have been thinking about this post all week and I would try and write it and it wouldn't work. I'd end up venting about something in life or I'd be writing and my mind would be connecting the dots. The problem was when my mind is connecting the dots like that, my thoughts are super disjointed and you'd be confused. So, here we are Monday morning and I refuse to miss two weeks in a row. This will be a get what you get non-edited post.

One of the thoughts I was trying to put together was about how there are different types of people with money and how that compares to the home. For instance, there are people that love saving. They feel like they are financially free when they have a certain amount in savings. There are certain people that feel financially free when they are investing. There are other people that feel financially free when they have plenty of money to spend. I'm not a spender but that would be my area. I long to be able to buy without budgeting to the penny.

In homes, we have people that are instinctively organized. We have people who love to clean. We have people who hate cleaning. We have hoarders. We have minimalists. We have collectors. We have people who toss like no one will miss it. You might fall somewhere in the middle of one or more of these dichotomies.

What I have noticed is that a pretty discouraging thinking process is comparison. If you are a hoarder, you might find yourself comparing yourself to a minimalist. Then what happens? You start beating yourself up and telling yourself you should do better and you just need to get rid of all of your stuff, which then overwhelms you and you get stuck.

Imagine what would happen if you didn't compare. Maybe you'd decide that you have an excess and it's time to get organized. You'd decide it might be time to get rid of a few things. Because you aren't comparing, you could listen to your heart tell you what you are ready to let go of. You wouldn't be beating yourself up for keeping something that you aren't ready to let go of. You'd love and value yourself for where you are right now. You might even let go of more things because you are valuing yourself where you are. You wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be like so-and-so and so the overwhelm wouldn't come.

The person who is what we call “born organized” might actually not be someone you want to be. They may have a severe OCD going on. They need everything in a perfect place because their brain is so out of sorts that they are putting extra pressure on their environment to be perfect. The hoarder might be keeping all of their stuff because they are afraid they will need it one day. They could also have OCD that is such that they can't get it perfect right now so they won't do anything and then it gets too much. We all have our own stories and reasons why we are experiencing life the way we are. When we look at someone's book cover, we may not realize the crazy story that is inside.

Instinctively, we know that too much stuff is weighing us down. What do you need to learn from your stuff? What is your story?

Is your stuff protection to you? Where did it start? What are you protecting yourself from? Is it really still needed? What is the next step to change the story?

Are you keeping your stuff because you may need it one day? Is that even your story or did you inherit it from your ancestor that lived in the great depression when people really did need to keep things? Are you ready to let that story go?

When you release these stories, you can listen to your heart a little better. You can know if you are keeping food storage out of fear or out of obedience. You can know what brings you joy and what you no longer need. You can live in abundant thinking knowing that you will always have exactly what you need, so letting things go is easier.

When we stop comparing, we can look at our own stories. We can decide what stories to keep and what ones to let go. If you need some help in this kind of thing, there are plenty of coaches, mentors, and healers like myself to engage in the work. The important things are looking only at yourself and letting go of the comparison game.

Much love to you!

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Chaos Preceding Order

 Today, I want to talk about chaos. I don't know about you, but I find it can be a little discouraging and overwhelming to end up in a chaos situation.

The truth about chaos is that it is necessary. One must tear down an old building in order to build a new one in its place. A couple of years ago, my children and I watched such an occurrence. The city tore down a building that was falling apart. It became a big mess of brick, dust, metal, glass, and more.

Imagine what would happen if the city looked at it the way we often look at our own lives and homes. They'd have seen the big mess and got discouraged. They would have thought things like, “Ugh, it's such a mess. I'll never get through this.” Then, with that great feeling of overwhelm, they'd start avoiding the mess and filling their time with other activities. Years later, there would still be a big mess.

Instead, the city had a plan. They knew that chaos precedes order. They knew that they had to clean up the mess and make room for a new building. It took a while to clean up the mess. After a couple of months cleaning up, they were able to break ground on the new building. They dug new holes and began construction on the buildings. First, the firehouse, as it was a priority. Then the police station and city-building went up. Lastly, they just finished replacing the park that was near this mess. It took a long time, but the effort was worth it. We have some beautiful buildings that are safe for our city officials to use.

Just this morning, my children were cleaning in their room. After a bit of progress, we thought they might be done. Then they decided it was time to clean out under my daughter's bed. It didn't take long for the room to look like they had not done a thing. Their room became a chaotic mess. My job as mom is to keep them going. I know that the mess is a necessary phase and the clean will be cleaner because they did this first.

This kind of chaos happens a lot when decluttering. We go into a closet and pull everything out. It then looks like a big mess. It really wouldn't make sense to stop in the middle just because it seems like a lot. We know that in the end, it will be cleaner because we'll be able to let go of the things that were hiding.

This probably makes sense to you when dealing with the cluttering or deep cleaning concept. The questions then come, “What about the chaos that just shows up?” “What about the room I clean and then seemingly by magic is a mess again?”

This chaos feels different but what if it isn't? What if it's a message from our subconscious to pay attention?

My space has been feeling especially like this. I cleaned and then when kids went through their clothes, the extras that we're saving for the next kid got dumped in my room. Then I got a job and they just sat there because it takes too much effort to put them away.

I get to ask myself questions. How is this a reflection in my life? I thought I had my money story cleaned up and then some things changed and it's like a bunch of stuff got dumped right back in. With this little bit of information, I can clean up my room and my money story. I'll keep asking the questions, clearing the energy, and my room will stay clean.

Just like the city needed a plan to deal with their mess, I need a plan to deal with mine. I don't want to let the chaos take over. I want to use it as a steppingstone on the path to order. What needs to be destroyed in my life in order to create the life I want? What do I need to add or take away? What is my next step? What would it take to get it cleaned up so well that my room can stay clean?

You too get to ask yourself similar questions. What your current home situation represents. What your next step is. What you want your outcome to be in the end. Keep asking the questions and moving forward so that you can create the new life you intend.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the people who love them.