Golden Timing

I know you were probably expecting the next post in the love language series. I promise it's coming. I just felt that this post was more important.

As I was reading God Speaks Your Love Language (affiliate link) in preparation for my recent series, I  found this quote:

God loves us enough to allow us to stary from Him for a while if that is what it takes to create a fresh hunger for His presence.

I really liked the idea to remind us of His love for us. I think of my role as a parent. Although sometimes difficult, I will allow my children to suffer the consequences that I knew were coming. I knew it would hurt but not kill them or hurt them too deeply. I also knew that they needed that lesson now in order to prevent a bigger, more painful experience in the future.

This is how I perceive God to be with us. He knows what we are choosing and he knows the bigger picture. He allows us to go through hard times because he knows we have lessons to learn. If we don't learn them now, they get more painful. I can't imagine how it would be to watch so many people go astray, all of them His children.

These thoughts bring some others to mind. One thought is that God won't force us. He is always right there waiting. He's there ready to step in when we simply ask. Sometimes there are reasons he can't answer the prayers we seek but he's always right there, so ask. He will step in if he is allowed.

What do I mean by allowed? Well, when I believed that “God doesn't keep his promises” that belief blocked God from stepping in on any area that was a previous promise. He couldn't bless me with the things he had promised because I had a belief that he wouldn't. There are many variations of beliefs that can prevent Him. If you don't believe you are worthy of his help or blessings, how can He help you? Our own beliefs limit God's ability to help.

Now, let's talk about God's timing. I liked a recent phrase I heard, “It will come in the golden timing.” I love the idea of a golden time. It allows for my true thoughts on the timing to make so much more sense. To me, it's not really about “God's timing” but rather Him waiting until we are ready.

Let's say we are seeking a spouse. We've prayed earnestly. We are pretty sure we are ready, at least we think we are. We don't see all the other pieces that God does. More on that in a second. Let's say that God brings our spouse to us right when we ask. What if we had a hidden belief about our worthiness? We'll meet the guy of our dreams and quickly push him away because we just don't believe we are worthy. Now, if God doesn't give us him when we ask but actually waits until we are ready, we will know we are worthy of that dream and we will receive with open arms.

God's timing isn't about him. It's about us. That's why I like the idea of golden timing. It means that all of the right pieces are in place. You have the right beliefs, the other parties have the right beliefs, and it is time for magic because it is the golden timing.

Here is an interesting story on timing. Back in 2009, I was getting ready to file for divorce. I was filling out all of the papers and they were about ready to be turned in. I had a distinct prompting to wait. It wasn't easy but I waited until after the new year as I had been told. My former husband lost his job on New Years Day. Had I moved forward there would have been complications in the divorce and possibly in the mental health of all of the parties involved. It took me four more years before I finally got that divorce because some other things needed to fall in place before the timing was golden.

From this, I want you to know that God is always in favor of the golden timing. He rarely goes against that and when he does, it is for a higher purpose and lesson. He loves you so much that he will wait for you to be ready to have the relationship with you that he has always desired. He'll wait for you to let go of your anger. He'll wait for you to make time for him, or approach him in whatever ways are best for you. He's always there and he's always giving you little nudges to help you in the right direction.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

Decluttering with Children

You've probably heard about love languages. I don't know what your child's love languages is but let me tell you mine. My love language gifts. Many of my children have a high love language of gifts, first or second. This is important to remember with our kids and I'll tell you why from my perspective.

My mom didn't know what was important to me. My dad didn't know what mattered to me. When they decided what I no longer needed, often it in some way broke my heart. Things that meant a lot to me were tossed away as unimportant. Like that empty compact, my grandma gave me. To my parents, that looked like garbage. To me, it was a symbol of my grandma's love.

It's hard for me to hear about people going through their kids' toys. Especially hard if they do it while their kids are gone. When I have had conversations about this, I often hear things about how they don't believe their children would get rid of things. Sometimes they think they are too young, and in some cases, yes, they are too young. You'd be surprised at what kids are capable of.

We all know from our own experience or watching our children that when that old fast food toy comes out of hiding the kid is back in love with the toy. They cherish it for the next day or so only to be tossed aside again. This is often the reason I hear most for why a child "cannot decide for themselves." The in the moment love of all toys especially the one in my hand way children have can be quite convincing.

This is my suggestion before you start jumping to conclusions about what your children would do or are capable of. Teach them how to joy test.

Teach them to hold each object and listen to their heart. It could look different to each child so be cautious about how you word it. Some kids do really well with the idea of does it make you feel light or heavy. One of mine describes it as dark or light.

Another of my boys was trying to keep every shirt he owned. I knew that he bypassed a few of them in his drawer. He'd only wear one when there was nothing else in his drawer and yet, here he was keeping it. I was a little frustrated because I knew he was old enough to do this. Finally, he stopped and asked me, "Mom, does my heart sound like a ghost?" I was a bit shocked, but I answered that yes it can and watched a change. He let go of that shirt I knew he didn't like as well as quite a few more.

I hear thoughts when I joy test. Why I was surprised my son would is beyond me. I just forgot that different people receive answers in different ways and my child could receive like I do. Light/heavy, happy/sad, light/dark, voices, pictures they see in their mind, and more. There are a lot of ways to get answers for yourself and your child will have a way that comes naturally to them as well.

One day, I put every toy in our house in a huge pile on the front room floor. There was nowhere to walk. It was exactly what my kids needed. They needed to see just how much stuff they had. It took a while, but we sorted through that whole pile. In the end, each child kept very little and only what actually brought joy. We sent a lot of things away from our house that day.

Since then, it's been easy for them to let toys go. We get to go through similar processes often. Birthdays and Christmas inevitably increase the amounts of things they have. They grow and mature and their interests change. When they know it is safe to let things go and only keep what brings joy, it's a lot easier. It's also easier to put things away when there isn't as much stuff.

If you have a hard time letting things go, your kids will. You must be willing to declutter your stuff and let your kids see you do it before you engage them in the process. They need to see that it is safe and really does bring you joy. Kids are extremely sensitive to the energy of their environment. They'll feel the difference as you let things go.

Try teaching them as soon as you can. If you find they keep a lot of things, evaluate. Are they really old enough to understand what you are asking? Some kids get it at younger ages than others. If they aren't ready to joy test, that's okay. They'll learn eventually. Have you tried finding out how they hear their heart? Are you asking the right questions? Are you questioning their choices? If they say let it go, they get to let it go. If it's important to you, and sparks joy for you, then save it for you, not for them. Don't ask them if they're sure or even act shocked at some of the things they say goodbye to.

In the end, you're the parent. You get to make the decisions right for you and your family. Even if I get triggered, that's my problem, not yours. 😃 You may decide they didn't let go of enough, so you need to help the process. There are things we know most of our children won't miss. You can make that executive decision if you need to. I would suggest you wait a while, a month maybe, so they don't associate their decision with yours overriding it. They need to feel respected so they learn to trust their heart as they mature.

I'm sure you have some ideas to help the process along. Go ahead and leave a comment for other moms.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Teaching the Littles

Last week, I talked about decluttering and a couple of methods for doing that. I've done most of that for myself.

I live with my mom, so I don't have a lot of stuff. I have decluttered everything except for three things. My Christmas ornaments that have been in boxes since my divorce. My kitchen items that have been in boxes for the same reason, as we use my mom's. The last area, my photos. My dreams of creating photo albums haven't died. lol

This week, I had an urge to reread The Joy of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Why?

I wasn't sure but I know that often rereading the same info at different times in your life could give you a different insight. For this reason, I followed the prompting and checked out the digital copy from my library.

It didn't take very long to realize one big reason why. When I read it the first time, I was reading with two intents. One was in my own decluttering journey. I learned a lot and have applied the principles quite well. The other was for you guys. If I know what's said in that book, then I can use the principles in my coaching and writing so that you can understand in a way that comes through my perspective.

This time, something that stood out was the concept that we weren't taught to declutter as children. We had to self-teach or as adults seek out specific education through books, videos, or coaches.

I'm a parent. I have 6 children. My oldest is an adult and out of the house with his own little family. My efforts to teach him was limited at best. I had a lot of postpartum depression and I was still early in my own learning efforts. I tried to teach him the value of less as I learned. Now, he's on his own for learning unless he comes asking.

The remainder of my children live at home. They range in age between 9 and 16. I can still teach them a lot more. They've already been taught how to joy test from the KonMari method and yet, there is so much more I could teach them.

As parents, we have an important role to teach our children how to be successful adults. One of those is taking care of a house. So, this time reading through, my number one thought will be about teaching my children. This is a great time too as school is out for the summer. I'll continue to share what insights I get with you and yet my priority will be teaching my children.

So hold onto your hats kids, this mom is about to take decluttering to the family level.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele