It's been a crazy time for me. I knew surgery would be interesting, I didn't expect it to wipe me out the way it did. It wasn't just that there was more pain, it was that I was downright exhausted too.
This month, our roof started leaking. I personally, associate the roof with God, higher self, or other crown chakra energy. Of course, being me, I had to look at what was going on.
Water leaks often can be associated with grief or tears. Did I have a lot of grief with God? I didn't really know. I was trying to address it, did energy work on the home and self. It seemed to get cleared and yet, it leaked again.
Then I did a technique from Rachel Archelaus. She teaches Intuitive Art, which is another way to find out what is going on when you just can't find the answers looking straight on.
I was doing this process for issues with reading my scriptures. Why wasn't I reading? My results were interesting. There was some anger, some disconnect, and way over on the side, there was a big ball of sadness. There is that sadness idea again.
I took to healing. Why was I angry? Why was I sad? I have been dealing with a lot of layers but I want to tell you about one.
I was promised in three different blessings that I would heal quickly. A week ago, as of writing this, I was told that in a week I would be able to be off of the crutches, still using the brace. Well, here I am, not only am I still on the crutches, but a spider scare caused me to jerk my knee into a place of great pain so I couldn't put any weight on my leg for a while.
I lost it. I cried about broken promises and feeling betrayed. Promises of a sweetheart. Promises of healing, and it's not going so fast. Promises of a “beautiful home with the necessities of life”. I have so many promises given to me in priesthood blessings that aren't coming true that I feel anger and betrayal. This is showing up in this intuitive art, in my home leak, and in this overall depression I have had in the last little while.
It's hard to admit that I have been angry and felt hurt and betrayed by God. No wonder I haven't wanted to read scriptures and I have not had much desire to return to church when I do get better. I love the scriptures and I love church and I believe it to be true but there are all these hurt feelings.
With awareness comes healing. Now I know where to heal the deepest hurts. I know what I am really feeling so I can really deal with it.
Do you have similar things going on in your life? Feelings you just can't figure out. Maybe you have signs coming at you in your body, your home, or even through different intuitive methods. Are you giving yourself permission to receive the messages and go deep into healing? I sure hope so. If you need help, I'm super happy to help you come to a place of peace.
With love from my heart to yours,
Michele