Simplifying My Kitchen

I am kind of in an in-between place. A type of limbo if you will. On the one hand, I am still highly aware of and intentionally looking at what happens in the home in order to assist healing. On the other hand, I am unlocking some incredible gifts with sound. I know they somehow work together but that is where the limbo lies. I am just not sure how yet. Because I am kind of in a bit of an unknown area, I'll talk about what I have done with the kitchen dishes. I let so many dishes go. 

When I was a little girl, my dad would say he wished we each just had one cup, one bowl, one plate, etc. That idea stuck in my mind but I didn't act on it. I had often thought as a young parent that it was a good idea but I wasn't willing to even try. 

I came across a YouTuber that has done that. She has one dish set for each member of her family. She started with a quarantine box, she had the term before the 2020 drama. It's a box that you put the dishes you don't think you will need. It's kind of the safety net before you actually get rid of things. The chance to see if you like it or if you will miss certain items and pull them out.

We got rid of so many dishes. Normally, I wouldn't have considered them clutter, although I did think we had too many of some things. I just was raised with having an abundance of dishes. 

I am choosing to look at my kitchen as always having what we need. Not too much, not too little, just what is perfect for us. I kept extra dishes on the top shelf as I have grandkids that occasionally come over. It's a bit crazy to see so few things in our cupboards and yet it is so nice.

I noticed I had some anxiety at first. This was weird for me because I have been decluttering for so long that I find it easy to let go. I realized that I was anxious because I had let my mind choose what to keep not my heart. I didn't joy test the dishes. I looked through the boxes, pulled out a couple of things, and the anxiety left. Now they have been donated, so there is no going back.

Here is what amazes me. It is impossible to get behind. Even if we don't wash dishes before bed, there are only a handful that have to be washed before the next dinner. They can't go more than that because there aren't enough plates. It's been so nice having so few dishes to wash. I can quickly tidy up and it's heaven.

I don't know if it's the right decision for everyone. I say if you have any curiosity, pull out a box for quarantining. Start with your eating dishes. Pull everything out and keep only one plate per person, one bowl, one cup, and see what happens for a few days when each person only has one set of dishes. If you find it liberating like I do, then move onto another area. Do you need all of your pans? What about the mixing bowls? Do you have too many storage containers for your needs? How about spatulas, whisks, and other cooking utensils.

As you simplify your dishes, how does this affect your sense of self? How does it affect other areas of the home? What do the dishes represent for you? For me, they seem to represent my overwhelm level and I can say, my dishes no longer overwhelm me.

Maybe this isn't right for you and so you decide to take all of the dishes back out of the quarantine box. It's okay. It will all turn out perfectly. Amazing sometimes to believe but it really will all work out.

Lots of love,

Michele

What Could Have Been

I have been watching a British show called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I found it on YouTube. The basis of the show is taking volunteers who are OCD with an emphasis on cleaning whether for germs, order, or both. These volunteers then go into a hoarder's home, usually not been cleaned in years. They get 4 days to get the house as clean as possible. It's been fascinating to watch.

I have a bit of OCD myself. Not the cleaning one but I can be a bit obsessive about some things in my home. I get kind of stuck on things and find it really hard to feel at peace with things. I don't quite know how to explain it. Mostly my OCD comes in the form of Scrupulosity which is a moral or religious OCD in which I have to live just right.

For this reason, I can really relate to some of what the OCD people are feeling. Not completely but I at least know that it is a compulsion they have little if any control over.

I have also experienced depression to the point of letting my whole house go. Feeling so overwhelmed by the stuff that I have no clue where to start. I have never been to a hoarder level but before I learned to declutter, I had quite a bit of stuff that overwhelmed me. I still have a lot of areas I haven't been able to get to for various reasons.

For this reason, I can really relate to the hoarders too. I know there are a lot of reasons for hoarding and not cleaning. I know that it's a spectrum and all of the people on that show are to one extreme or the other. They all have some deep wounds somewhere in their psyche.

Tonight as I watched, I started crying. Right now, I am coming to the end of my first challenge. The challenges are a month long and I do 11 healing sessions for all of the group members. I give tips when I can and I love the group for the accountability it provides to me. It's really hard to let it slide when I feel like I have all my group members counting on me to set an example. You can learn about it and join the next one here. I accept new members through the 10th of each month.

Back to why I was crying. My mom has been gone for six months. There are a lot of feelings all around. I have been cleaning out her room this month. I have taken over ten large trash bags of garbage out of that room, and I'm not really done. We have lived here for 10 years and although she made attempts at cleaning, she never really cleaned it the whole time. She was a hoarder. Not to the extent of many of those people on TV but she was a hoarder.

As I watched the show tonight, I kept thinking, “Why didn't I help her? Why didn't I offer to spend a day here and there going through the stuff with her? Why did I allow her to get so bad?”

As I was thinking, I had the thought, “For the same reason you couldn't tell her you loved her until a month before she passed.” I sigh.

There is a healing tool that I used in March with my mom. It is as simple as saying a sentence and believing it works. “I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness I have for my mom. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness my mom has for me. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness between my mom and me.”

What happens is somewhere back in time, trapped energy collected in one or both of us that was like what some people call a broadcast message. It's like there was a wall or sign that prevented certain behavior. Like she held up a sign to me that says, “You must treat me this way,” and I had to treat her that way. Maybe I was holding a sign in front of my own eyes that says, “Mom is like this so I must behave like that.” It doesn't matter which one of us has the energy or what they really said. It was the fact that they existed that was the challenge.

For years, I tried and tried to tell my mom I loved her. I could tell all of my children, every guy I dated, and even some other relatives that I loved them. When it came to my mom, I couldn't do it. It drove me crazy and I was constantly trying to figure it out.

When I did the clearing statements, I didn't do it thinking about the love situation. I just wanted to clear the energy away so I could be me, the real me, with my mom. It was a pleasant surprise that I was able to say “I love you” as I desired to. My mom was surprised too! It took her a moment and then she replied in like. After that, I found it quite easy to tell her that I loved her. 

I had to do another clearing statement when she said, “I love you too.” I would think, “No, you don't,” or, “Yeah, right.” So, I used the clearing statement, “That's an interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” I got that and the concept for the impediment work from Access Consciousness. They have some good tools and some not as great tools. :)

I was so grateful as my mom entered the hospital to have all those thoughts cleared up. I could tell her of my love and hear her reply and know that it was all true. I kept wishing I would have known sooner because the last month of her life was so sweet with that barrier gone.

I don't know what all thoughts were between my mom, me, and the clutter. Some about me thinking her unwilling to hear me or let me help. Some about her own beliefs that she could never get it done. Who knows what all was there.

Now, here I am. Making headway in her former room. Working bit by bit to declutter the whole house of all the garbage she left. I seek for and find the hidden treasures of her love. We let a lot go to the thrift store and a whole lot to the dump. Eventually, the only things left will be the reminders of love that spark incredible joy.

I can't let myself get caught up in the what could have beens. They weren't. Things are what they are. I can only go forward and send compassion to the past. We all did the best we knew how at the time.

My wish for you is to send compassion and forgiveness to the past. Clear away the limiting thoughts and energy from the now. Move forward with more love and joy than ever!

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

Lessons from the October Challenge

I want to give you a bit of an update on what I have been doing. I started a “challenge” so that I can motivate myself and encourage others at the same time. It's been a lot of fun doing healing sessions for the group and I have made huge progress in my mom's room. Leading others is a great way for me to push myself to do what I need to do.

What have I learned in the last few weeks as I have been doing this?

I discovered that I need to stop referring to the room as my mom's room or grandma's room. She no longer lives in that room. I found a new name for that room that inspires me to get in there. My kids know what I am talking about when I call it the Meadow. Its full name is Michele's Magical Meadow.

I realized I need to stop calling the stuff my mom's stuff. It isn't hers anymore. She left it behind. It's kind of my inheritance. Now, I really didn't want to inherit a bunch of garbage to sort through hoping to find the occasional treasure. At the same time, when I claim it as mine, it makes it easier for me to toss things, donate things, etc like I have trained myself to take care of my own stuff.

Another thing is, although she left all that stuff, I don't actually have to go through it. I could send it to my brother. I could give it to my kids and tell them to go through it. I could toss it all, forget any possible treasure. Realizing this actually makes it easier for me to go through it because now it is a choice. I am excited to find the treasures within the garbage.

I have also discovered that when I get stuck, I can treat myself like a client. This happened today. I went in to clean in the Meadow. I got to a point where my next step is to clean off the bed. The bed wasn't a mess when my mom passed. It's stuff I've piled on as I have gone through other things. Mostly things I haven't known what to do with. Basically, I created a big "box" of stuff for me to go through, only it isn't a box.

I froze. I couldn't really do anything.

I decided to ask myself, “What would I tell my client in this situation?” Wow, that was fascinating. I would ask her to look at what area of her life that pile represented. I discovered it was the overwhelming grief I have been experiencing. I then asked, “How much of that is yours?” My answer was none. I became aware that it was grief my mom left behind, the grief she felt as she knew she was leaving me a mess, grief from the dog, the kids, etc. Some could have even been inherited. I was a bit surprised, but not really. I have been feeling and healing as much as I could when it comes up. I was frustrated it wasn't going away. I finally asked for it to be cleared.

I haven't been able to go back into the room because of timing priorities but I have had ideas about how to deal with the mess. I wasn't getting those ideas before so if nothing else, I was able to get past a stuck place.

Another interesting thing to note about this challenge. I have been having the most awesome experiences after each session. The one on Wednesday was about careers. I'm writing this on Thursday and I had some really awesome things show up in my awareness that I could use for my career. I don't know if I am taking it but it's so cool that it showed up the day after I did the healing! If nothing else, it might open me to some more clarity as I move forward.

The whole thing has been really exciting and I am only halfway through the month! Who knows what else this month will bring!

Big hugs my friends,

Michele

Intuitive Healer & Coach

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover

Super sorry for missing last week. I have been thinking about this post all week and I would try and write it and it wouldn't work. I'd end up venting about something in life or I'd be writing and my mind would be connecting the dots. The problem was when my mind is connecting the dots like that, my thoughts are super disjointed and you'd be confused. So, here we are Monday morning and I refuse to miss two weeks in a row. This will be a get what you get non-edited post.

One of the thoughts I was trying to put together was about how there are different types of people with money and how that compares to the home. For instance, there are people that love saving. They feel like they are financially free when they have a certain amount in savings. There are certain people that feel financially free when they are investing. There are other people that feel financially free when they have plenty of money to spend. I'm not a spender but that would be my area. I long to be able to buy without budgeting to the penny.

In homes, we have people that are instinctively organized. We have people who love to clean. We have people who hate cleaning. We have hoarders. We have minimalists. We have collectors. We have people who toss like no one will miss it. You might fall somewhere in the middle of one or more of these dichotomies.

What I have noticed is that a pretty discouraging thinking process is comparison. If you are a hoarder, you might find yourself comparing yourself to a minimalist. Then what happens? You start beating yourself up and telling yourself you should do better and you just need to get rid of all of your stuff, which then overwhelms you and you get stuck.

Imagine what would happen if you didn't compare. Maybe you'd decide that you have an excess and it's time to get organized. You'd decide it might be time to get rid of a few things. Because you aren't comparing, you could listen to your heart tell you what you are ready to let go of. You wouldn't be beating yourself up for keeping something that you aren't ready to let go of. You'd love and value yourself for where you are right now. You might even let go of more things because you are valuing yourself where you are. You wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to be like so-and-so and so the overwhelm wouldn't come.

The person who is what we call “born organized” might actually not be someone you want to be. They may have a severe OCD going on. They need everything in a perfect place because their brain is so out of sorts that they are putting extra pressure on their environment to be perfect. The hoarder might be keeping all of their stuff because they are afraid they will need it one day. They could also have OCD that is such that they can't get it perfect right now so they won't do anything and then it gets too much. We all have our own stories and reasons why we are experiencing life the way we are. When we look at someone's book cover, we may not realize the crazy story that is inside.

Instinctively, we know that too much stuff is weighing us down. What do you need to learn from your stuff? What is your story?

Is your stuff protection to you? Where did it start? What are you protecting yourself from? Is it really still needed? What is the next step to change the story?

Are you keeping your stuff because you may need it one day? Is that even your story or did you inherit it from your ancestor that lived in the great depression when people really did need to keep things? Are you ready to let that story go?

When you release these stories, you can listen to your heart a little better. You can know if you are keeping food storage out of fear or out of obedience. You can know what brings you joy and what you no longer need. You can live in abundant thinking knowing that you will always have exactly what you need, so letting things go is easier.

When we stop comparing, we can look at our own stories. We can decide what stories to keep and what ones to let go. If you need some help in this kind of thing, there are plenty of coaches, mentors, and healers like myself to engage in the work. The important things are looking only at yourself and letting go of the comparison game.

Much love to you!

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Seasons Come, Seasons Go

Butterflies, butterflies, butterflies. If you have known me for long, you know that I have a love of butterflies. Yet, here I am getting rid of many butterfly things and often thinking, “I don't want more butterflies.”

The thing about collections, desires, and affinities is they are about seasons. I have been coming to the end of a great transformational period. The butterfly is a symbol of transformation. I still feel a pull to have them for my business which is about transforming lives through the home, but I find that the pull to have them in my life is coming to a close.

Sometimes, our season is like this butterfly for me. We need a symbol in our life for a while and then we're complete. Animal totems will often be like this. Maybe you're drawn to bears for a while because you need what the bear teaches and then you've learned and you're ready for the next totem.

Other times the reason for the end of the season is different. I'll explain a couple of alternative reasons for a season to change.

As I have been writing this, I realized why my season for snow globes came to an end a few years back. I used to be in love with them. I noticed my interest in them begin to wane when my daughter was about 3. Now that my youngest is about 10, I find my interest returning. I can see that for this, there is a subconscious belief about having those nice glass decorations around toddlers and young children. Sometimes, we lose interest for a time because of the stage of life we are in.

I have also heard of a Karmic desire for things. An ancestor, or for those of you who believe in past lives a past life could affect what you are drawn to. I wish I remembered the details of a story I heard. I believe the ancestor was a pig farmer or something and they slaughtered a number of pigs. The descendant was drawn to collecting pig figurines. When she reached a certain number, she stopped collecting, in fact, she lost interest in pigs altogether. There was a figurine for each pig slaughtered as if that would somehow make up for the failings of the ancestor. Of course, none of this was conscious until a psychic got involved to give answers.

When we are decluttering, it can be easy to want to keep holding onto things like my butterflies, or this other person and her pigs. At one time, they gave great joy but now not so much. It isn't uncommon to think we need to hold on for the past's sake, or even for the “one day I might love it again” idea. Living in the past or future like this does not make our soul sing.

If you are really asking your soul what makes it sing, you might get an answer like, “pack it away for a time.” I didn't understand why a pillow that doesn't seem to match my decor was something for me to keep but I kept it. Now the answer is becoming clear as I am turning my attention to decorating my bedroom in mermaid themes. The pillow will be a perfect fit. If you don't get a strong “Yes, it makes my soul sing,” or another reason to keep it or pack it away, is it really worth keeping? We want to surround our soul with things that make it sing.

Holding onto things because they once brought us joy is living in the past. Our season may have come to an end. Holding onto what we might need someday, is living in a future that may never exist. It's also a sign of living in scarcity. If you have an abundant or blessings mindset, you will trust you have what you need and will have what you need.

I do have one exception. In my church, we have been guided to have food and emergency storage. It's a hard act to balance. On the one hand, we don't want to live in fear of what could happen. On the other hand, we want to be obedient. In cases like these, I ask that you commune with your higher power for the answer that is right for you. Keep what you need in a state of obedience, not fear. Check in about each item and make sure it is right for you and that your reason is not fear-based. Just as with all things, they should make your soul sing. Obedience would make your soul sing, fear will make your soul cringe.

For me, the season of butterflies in my personal life is coming to an end. I'm moving out of a state of transformation and into a state of living in the flow and magic of life, hence the mermaids. Mermaids live in the flow and they are magical creatures. My business still feels aligned with butterflies so I will still have them on my wall for the background of my YouTube videos and around in my logo and such for business. My business is still transforming people's lives.

Does this mean I'll get rid of all the other butterflies in my life? No. The candle is still beautiful and reminds me of the love of a friend, so I'll keep it. There are other things that have similar sentiments. I'll look at each butterfly individually to see if it makes my heart sing. If someone gives me a butterfly, I'll ask that object if it makes my heart sing as well. I don't hate butterflies. I still like them, I just don't have that strong pull anymore, and that's okay.

Is there something in your life that you have been holding onto because it once was? Is there something you are holding onto for a someday that may never come? Do they make your soul sing? If not, is it time to let them go?

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Feng Shui or Not to Feng Shui

Today, I want to talk about Feng Shui. It's kind of a challenging subject because I have some pretty mixed feelings.

First, Feng Shui is about the energy flow in your home. A good Feng Shui consultant will have you set clear intentions as you clear, arrange, or enhance your areas. This is a key factor in Feng Shui. It's really about getting you aware of the effect your surroundings have on you and using intentions to change it. I think more and more practitioners are becoming aware that to really make a difference you get to address the inner world as you are changing your outer world.

In Feng Shui, there is a map called a Bagua that you place over a room or building. Although the most popular maps have nine areas, originally this was an octagon they placed over the space. The eight directions came to a unified point in the middle. To make it easier, they put the eight areas to the outside in boxes and then added a middle section that is about health and unity. I think it's based on the idea that you will be in good health when all of the areas of life are balanced.

Traditionally, the Bagua was placed with the bottom of the map over the east wall. If you have studied any Native American cultures and other old tribal cultures, you will find a similar idea. The Navajo Hogan is traditionally supposed to have its door to the east. When someone dies in the Hogan, they board up the door and cut a door in the back to remove the body through. The east is the rising sun, new life to a new day. The sun “dies” in the west. Similarly, new energy comes from the east, which is why ancient Feng Shui used the east wall.

Now, we use the wall that the energy enters your home or room; the front door or room door. It won't matter which direction you face your home. If your door is on the west, you place the bottom of the map with the door wall. The door can be in any of the three sections at the bottom of the map.

For myself, I usually take a slightly different approach. If someone needs the Bagua, we use the Bagua. If someone is more intuitive, I'll guide them to make their own. I'll ask them what area in their room represents money. When they have their own map made, they'll apply it to their house. Remember, intention is a key factor so either method will work great. The important part is that you intentionally change the energy.

One of the things that I don't agree with in Feng Shui is how they use colors and elements. The colors were chosen by a culture that has white as a color for mourning, whereas we use black. This is where I think intuition really needs to come into play. What color represents money for you? If you were to add one of the five elements wind, water, fire, earth, or metal which you would associate with money? You could then use colors or elements in that area as you feel inclined to do. The same goes for symbols. Traditionally, China has a color and symbol that means money. The question is, does it really mean the same to you? Find your own symbol that represents wealth for you.

One thing I do love about Feng Shui is the recognition that all things have a chi, which is really energy. Each item has a story to tell and for you, that story could be a blessing or a curse. This is a part of why clutter is such a problem. If an area of your home is bogged down with clutter, it will bog down your life. Stepping into a world where everything around you makes your soul sing, will create a life that makes your soul sing.

If something doesn't make your soul sing, there are choices. Let it go is just one way. Another way is to clear the energy. This is a lot of what I do with homes. I have already shared a few posts about how I do it with everyday items. Things you can do for yourself, or you can hire someone like myself to help you out.

Whether you choose to follow the Feng Shui map or not, there are many things you can do for your home with clear intentions. Ask yourself where the different areas are represented and then take time to clear them out, intentionally decorate and plan the space.

Is there too much red which is often associated with fire? You may feel like you're burning the candle at both ends. Bring in some other elements to balance out that red fire. Are you feeling stuck in your life? Check out the energy flowing in and out of your home. Does it come in through a clean entrance, inside and out? Does it have a way to flow out? So many questions and solutions are available as you look at what your room, home, or even work environment are telling you.

If you need help with what to ask or even an outside perspective or guidance, this is one of the things I offer. Of course, I'm always thrilled to clear out the “chi” as well. 😊

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Beyond the Clutter

Writing a blog post for this week has been an adventure. I'm at a venture in my home healing project. That is such a funny word to write. I looked it up because I wanted to know what it really meant. Venture: a risky or daring journey or undertaking, according to the Oxford dictionary result in my Google search.

The truth is, for me that's how it felt. I have gotten to a point where I finally have decluttered most of my stuff. I have very little to go through now. When it comes to what I can do in my home, my answers have now become decorating ideas instead of decluttering.

Decorating? You wouldn't think that would be a risky adventure. Here's the deal, decorating brings up a whole list of beliefs and fears I didn't even realize I had.

There are beliefs I learned from my mom. Her phrase, “I can never have nice things because of you kids.” I realized that I have a similar idea that parents with kids at home can't have nice things. The nice homes are for the people who have all of their kids out of the house. When I ask myself if it's true, I am reminded of people I know who have nice homes and kids at home.

There are beliefs about what kind of person buys decorating things. Funny as my current job is at Hobby Lobby. We have a lot of crafts but in the center of the store is home decor. This means I am seeing a lot of decorating items being bought by everyday people. I catch the crazy beliefs coming up. Do they need any of this? No, need isn't the right word, but they want it and there really is nothing wrong with wanting a pretty home.

Um, that's not what my subconscious says. As I look at a little of what I have done in my home, it both makes me smile and makes me cringe. Money beliefs, family beliefs, ideas about having nice things, frivolous things. They're all coming up.

For me, this is a huge change in how I look at and deal with homes and the people who love them. I knew clutter expressed how we are feeling inside, why didn't I let myself see the truth about decorating?

This is the thing about your home. Just as we have layers to the beliefs, emotions, and thoughts inside of us, we'll have layers in our homes. When you get through the clutter layers, you may find some surprising things underneath. What was your clutter protecting you from? Mine was protecting me from being a “selfish and vain person” among other things.

I'm excited to take on these next beliefs. What about you? Are you ready for the next layer?

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

House Intuitive

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Chaos Preceding Order

 Today, I want to talk about chaos. I don't know about you, but I find it can be a little discouraging and overwhelming to end up in a chaos situation.

The truth about chaos is that it is necessary. One must tear down an old building in order to build a new one in its place. A couple of years ago, my children and I watched such an occurrence. The city tore down a building that was falling apart. It became a big mess of brick, dust, metal, glass, and more.

Imagine what would happen if the city looked at it the way we often look at our own lives and homes. They'd have seen the big mess and got discouraged. They would have thought things like, “Ugh, it's such a mess. I'll never get through this.” Then, with that great feeling of overwhelm, they'd start avoiding the mess and filling their time with other activities. Years later, there would still be a big mess.

Instead, the city had a plan. They knew that chaos precedes order. They knew that they had to clean up the mess and make room for a new building. It took a while to clean up the mess. After a couple of months cleaning up, they were able to break ground on the new building. They dug new holes and began construction on the buildings. First, the firehouse, as it was a priority. Then the police station and city-building went up. Lastly, they just finished replacing the park that was near this mess. It took a long time, but the effort was worth it. We have some beautiful buildings that are safe for our city officials to use.

Just this morning, my children were cleaning in their room. After a bit of progress, we thought they might be done. Then they decided it was time to clean out under my daughter's bed. It didn't take long for the room to look like they had not done a thing. Their room became a chaotic mess. My job as mom is to keep them going. I know that the mess is a necessary phase and the clean will be cleaner because they did this first.

This kind of chaos happens a lot when decluttering. We go into a closet and pull everything out. It then looks like a big mess. It really wouldn't make sense to stop in the middle just because it seems like a lot. We know that in the end, it will be cleaner because we'll be able to let go of the things that were hiding.

This probably makes sense to you when dealing with the cluttering or deep cleaning concept. The questions then come, “What about the chaos that just shows up?” “What about the room I clean and then seemingly by magic is a mess again?”

This chaos feels different but what if it isn't? What if it's a message from our subconscious to pay attention?

My space has been feeling especially like this. I cleaned and then when kids went through their clothes, the extras that we're saving for the next kid got dumped in my room. Then I got a job and they just sat there because it takes too much effort to put them away.

I get to ask myself questions. How is this a reflection in my life? I thought I had my money story cleaned up and then some things changed and it's like a bunch of stuff got dumped right back in. With this little bit of information, I can clean up my room and my money story. I'll keep asking the questions, clearing the energy, and my room will stay clean.

Just like the city needed a plan to deal with their mess, I need a plan to deal with mine. I don't want to let the chaos take over. I want to use it as a steppingstone on the path to order. What needs to be destroyed in my life in order to create the life I want? What do I need to add or take away? What is my next step? What would it take to get it cleaned up so well that my room can stay clean?

You too get to ask yourself similar questions. What your current home situation represents. What your next step is. What you want your outcome to be in the end. Keep asking the questions and moving forward so that you can create the new life you intend.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Cleansing Our Belongings

Today, I want to share a decluttering and shopping tip.

You already know that our homes hold energy, or at least you do if you have been following my posts. Our stuff also holds energy. There are memories, emotions, and a few other things that can be found in our things. Each item also contains an energetic marker of the person who owns it.

Here's what I like to do. As I am giving my things away, I ask a prayer that all of my energy be removed. My ownership essence, my emotions, etc. I want that item to move on to the next person feeling clean and clear. Like an open slate of possibilities. I do the same thing when I bring things in, especially if they have been second-hand items.

I remember as I would pass clothes on from one boy to another, a few things would happen. One, I couldn't remember if I had passed it on. Another, the younger boy would struggle to own it even if he liked it.

One day, early in my energy days, I decided to ask that the essence of the older boy be removed from the clothes and the essence of the younger boy be added. I was pleasantly surprised when I could easily remember that the shirt had been passed along. It no longer felt like the older boys shirt. My younger boy no longer had a problem wearing it. It was a fun experiment that has impacted our life.

When my youngest was brand new to this world, he was placed in his car seat for the first time. We were ready to leave the hospital and like most babies, he didn't like it. I took him back out and said a little prayer over his car seat. We asked that any negative energy be cleared away and that a bit of my essence be placed in the car seat so he'd feel like he was with me. We placed him back in and he was peacefully content.

What you can do with energy is amazing and often that simple.

Another way you can use this technique is if you struggle to let something go. A friend told me that she had an old beat up clown that she knows doesn't bring her joy, but she just can't let it go. There is something energetically holding onto her. This is a case in which asking the clown to be cleared of all of her energy would be very beneficial. Her sense of ownership would be removed which would allow her to let it go.

If you are really struggling with letting things go, you can ask that angels be sent through your stuff with the purpose of cleaning out your essence from anything that wouldn't bring you joy. If you would rather not work with angels, you could ask that your soul or higher self remove your energy from all the things that don't bring you joy. Then when you take that item in your hand, you will no longer feel the connection you once had. It would become a lot easier to let it go.

There are many ways you can use a tip like this. Open your mind and ask yourself, what else is possible.

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the people who love them.

Soulda Woulda Coulda

I often ask myself the following question, "What can I do in my home to help shift the energy of <insert current dilemma here>?" Lately, every time I ask—no matter what the subject—I got the same response, "Sort the dishes."

The dishes were boxes of dishes up in a closet. They were dishes I used in my marriage. Nearly 11 years ago, they got packed away. First, we moved in with my in-laws. Then my ex and I were separated for a bit while he lived with his family and I lived with mine. After that, we got back together but this time living with my mom. Finally, we separated for good and I continued to live with my mom. During the divorce process, we sorted and divided them; otherwise, these dishes have remained in boxes for years.

I delayed this process for a few months. Here's my main thought, "If I sort these and give some away, then I am admitting that I will never have my own place, that I will be here forever." This isn't logical but often the things that keep us from doing what we know is best isn't logical.

Recently, I pulled them out. The first two boxes weren't so bad. It was kind of fun. I found some things that we could use now, some things that I will keep at least for now, and some that I am donating. Pretty simple and it wasn't so bad.

Then came the third box. It's silly that a casserole dish brought tears to my eyes. It represented the life that could have been. It unlocked grief that I hadn't addressed. There was the failed marriage and although we had problems, I did love him. There were the guys that although I tried to let go, I still held on.

I compared it to other parts of my life. The life I could have had if I would have taken care of my body. The life I could have had if I had gone to that one school. The life I could have had if I hadn't gotten pregnant. It goes on. All of the things I should have done, could have done, and would have done. This alternate life that a part of me was still holding onto. I had dreams and things went according to a different plan. In the end, maybe I'll see it was a better plan. 😊

To let go of the guys, I imagined them to be kites and I simply let go of the strings. I can't tell you how much lighter I felt. I then traced it back to childhood. I went to a time when I had to give up some favorite clothes because they didn't fit. I wanted to hold on then, and in a way I did. After that was healed, I would look for other areas this idea applied such as my weight, money, etc. Each place that an emotional trigger occurred, I did more healing. I even did some premortal work to clear some things from before I was born.

Imagine the life I can create now by letting go of the life that could have been. Imagine the possibilities of what I can create. Are you holding onto what could have been? What patterns can you find in your stuff? Even if you don't have a lot, I bet you can find a pattern. You might even find healing like I have.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Decluttering with Children

You've probably heard about love languages. I don't know what your child's love languages is but let me tell you mine. My love language gifts. Many of my children have a high love language of gifts, first or second. This is important to remember with our kids and I'll tell you why from my perspective.

My mom didn't know what was important to me. My dad didn't know what mattered to me. When they decided what I no longer needed, often it in some way broke my heart. Things that meant a lot to me were tossed away as unimportant. Like that empty compact, my grandma gave me. To my parents, that looked like garbage. To me, it was a symbol of my grandma's love.

It's hard for me to hear about people going through their kids' toys. Especially hard if they do it while their kids are gone. When I have had conversations about this, I often hear things about how they don't believe their children would get rid of things. Sometimes they think they are too young, and in some cases, yes, they are too young. You'd be surprised at what kids are capable of.

We all know from our own experience or watching our children that when that old fast food toy comes out of hiding the kid is back in love with the toy. They cherish it for the next day or so only to be tossed aside again. This is often the reason I hear most for why a child "cannot decide for themselves." The in the moment love of all toys especially the one in my hand way children have can be quite convincing.

This is my suggestion before you start jumping to conclusions about what your children would do or are capable of. Teach them how to joy test.

Teach them to hold each object and listen to their heart. It could look different to each child so be cautious about how you word it. Some kids do really well with the idea of does it make you feel light or heavy. One of mine describes it as dark or light.

Another of my boys was trying to keep every shirt he owned. I knew that he bypassed a few of them in his drawer. He'd only wear one when there was nothing else in his drawer and yet, here he was keeping it. I was a little frustrated because I knew he was old enough to do this. Finally, he stopped and asked me, "Mom, does my heart sound like a ghost?" I was a bit shocked, but I answered that yes it can and watched a change. He let go of that shirt I knew he didn't like as well as quite a few more.

I hear thoughts when I joy test. Why I was surprised my son would is beyond me. I just forgot that different people receive answers in different ways and my child could receive like I do. Light/heavy, happy/sad, light/dark, voices, pictures they see in their mind, and more. There are a lot of ways to get answers for yourself and your child will have a way that comes naturally to them as well.

One day, I put every toy in our house in a huge pile on the front room floor. There was nowhere to walk. It was exactly what my kids needed. They needed to see just how much stuff they had. It took a while, but we sorted through that whole pile. In the end, each child kept very little and only what actually brought joy. We sent a lot of things away from our house that day.

Since then, it's been easy for them to let toys go. We get to go through similar processes often. Birthdays and Christmas inevitably increase the amounts of things they have. They grow and mature and their interests change. When they know it is safe to let things go and only keep what brings joy, it's a lot easier. It's also easier to put things away when there isn't as much stuff.

If you have a hard time letting things go, your kids will. You must be willing to declutter your stuff and let your kids see you do it before you engage them in the process. They need to see that it is safe and really does bring you joy. Kids are extremely sensitive to the energy of their environment. They'll feel the difference as you let things go.

Try teaching them as soon as you can. If you find they keep a lot of things, evaluate. Are they really old enough to understand what you are asking? Some kids get it at younger ages than others. If they aren't ready to joy test, that's okay. They'll learn eventually. Have you tried finding out how they hear their heart? Are you asking the right questions? Are you questioning their choices? If they say let it go, they get to let it go. If it's important to you, and sparks joy for you, then save it for you, not for them. Don't ask them if they're sure or even act shocked at some of the things they say goodbye to.

In the end, you're the parent. You get to make the decisions right for you and your family. Even if I get triggered, that's my problem, not yours. 😃 You may decide they didn't let go of enough, so you need to help the process. There are things we know most of our children won't miss. You can make that executive decision if you need to. I would suggest you wait a while, a month maybe, so they don't associate their decision with yours overriding it. They need to feel respected so they learn to trust their heart as they mature.

I'm sure you have some ideas to help the process along. Go ahead and leave a comment for other moms.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Decluttering 101

We hear about decluttering all over the place. They even made a Netflix series featuring Marie Kondo. Hearing about it, knowing it needs to be done, and even knowing why it needs to be done doesn't always make it easy to know how.

One person says if you haven't used it in a year, toss it. You toss it and a month later you wish you hadn't. Another says to ask if you'll use it. You think, "No, but I love it so much." "Doesn't matter," they imply, "because if you don't use it you must lose it."

I even remember watching one of those design TV shows where they come in and declutter with the couple. This lady had a sewing machine and little kids. Her husband hadn't seen her use her machine in years since she had the babies. The wife knew she loved her machine and would use it again. They talked her into letting it go.

I got so mad. As a mother of young children, I sympathized with her. I knew that I would use my sewing machine if I had a room I could lock when it wasn't in use or a cabinet that it sat at the ready and yet safe from the kids. My mother's machine was always set up and ready to go so she could just sew when she wanted. Mine is in a box that I have to find a place to set it up after I drag it out of the closet. It just wasn't worth the effort and then there were the little fingers safety issues when my kids were young like this ladies. There's no way I'd sell my machine unless it was my idea and it didn't bring me joy.

I get a little bugged by the mindset that if you haven't worn it in a year, toss it. Some as little as six months. I think that's way too simplistic. There are weather things to consider not just a time frame. What if I was pregnant over that period but I wouldn't be this next winter? I see too many possibilities to go with that simple method.

Along came the KonMari method and I felt a sigh of relief. It was no longer about asking my mind if I'd use it. I was asking my heart if it sparked joy. I was no longer focusing on what to let go of. With that focus, we get triggered into scarcity and start keeping things we wouldn't otherwise. It's kind of like the lose weight or release it concept in dieting. We want to go after what we lose so we gain the weight again. If we're focused on what to get rid of, our safety mechanisms kick in and we start keeping things.

Marie Kondo teaches us to focus on what to keep. Keep what sparks joy. It's so much easier to let something go when you realize it doesn't spark joy! Our mind doesn't try to protect us because our focus is on what is staying, not what we are sending away.

Had that wife been able to keep what sparks joy, she might have kept her sewing machine. The TV crew could have then created a way for her to use her machine. Instead, they were only thinking about the money that machine would bring in. Not the mindset I want when I am decluttering.

One response to the KonMari method is, "If I got rid of anything that didn't bring me joy, I'd get rid of... but my family needs that." I have a great story to counteract this.

My friend said just that to me. She didn't like her crockpot, her fridge, and a few other things. I asked her if she actually asked if the crockpot brought her joy.

Most often we just jump to conclusions about what will and will not bring us joy. We aren't asking our mind if it wants to keep it. We're asking our hearts. When she asked, her answer was a surprise. "Yes. The crockpot brings joy because it brings my family joy with good meals and that brings me joy."

There's a reason why Marie says to touch and hold every object. Joy testing is a matter of the heart. It's tuning into the energy of things and our subconscious. There are things I haven't used in a long time but I felt like they brought me joy. A few months later use for those things came up. My heart knew something my mind didn't.

There have been a few things that I missed after the fact. Mostly books but when I really thought about it, I didn't really miss the books. The information I wanted was usually online anyway.

Our heart knows what brings us joy. It knows how much and why something brings joy. One person may keep many books, another just a few. Some people end up looking like minimalists and other people actually keep quite a lot. The important thing is it's what sparks joy for you. 

One last thought for today. If you ask if it sparks joy and you really think you need it but got a no, it's okay to keep it for a while. Make sure you aren't just keeping everything. Make sure you ask yourself questions about it. What would you use it for and is that realistically going to be needed? Is it a fear that has you keeping it? guilt or shame? What would it feel like if you did let it go? What if you let it go and you did need it? These are just a few questions you could ask. You may find you can let it go after all. Or maybe it's like my friend's fridge, it needed to be kept until a replacement came in.

You can do it! Even people who don't have much might find they have things they can let go of if they ask the right questions. "Does this spark joy?" is one powerful question when deciding what to keep!

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Teaching the Littles

Last week, I talked about decluttering and a couple of methods for doing that. I've done most of that for myself.

I live with my mom, so I don't have a lot of stuff. I have decluttered everything except for three things. My Christmas ornaments that have been in boxes since my divorce. My kitchen items that have been in boxes for the same reason, as we use my mom's. The last area, my photos. My dreams of creating photo albums haven't died. lol

This week, I had an urge to reread The Joy of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Why?

I wasn't sure but I know that often rereading the same info at different times in your life could give you a different insight. For this reason, I followed the prompting and checked out the digital copy from my library.

It didn't take very long to realize one big reason why. When I read it the first time, I was reading with two intents. One was in my own decluttering journey. I learned a lot and have applied the principles quite well. The other was for you guys. If I know what's said in that book, then I can use the principles in my coaching and writing so that you can understand in a way that comes through my perspective.

This time, something that stood out was the concept that we weren't taught to declutter as children. We had to self-teach or as adults seek out specific education through books, videos, or coaches.

I'm a parent. I have 6 children. My oldest is an adult and out of the house with his own little family. My efforts to teach him was limited at best. I had a lot of postpartum depression and I was still early in my own learning efforts. I tried to teach him the value of less as I learned. Now, he's on his own for learning unless he comes asking.

The remainder of my children live at home. They range in age between 9 and 16. I can still teach them a lot more. They've already been taught how to joy test from the KonMari method and yet, there is so much more I could teach them.

As parents, we have an important role to teach our children how to be successful adults. One of those is taking care of a house. So, this time reading through, my number one thought will be about teaching my children. This is a great time too as school is out for the summer. I'll continue to share what insights I get with you and yet my priority will be teaching my children.

So hold onto your hats kids, this mom is about to take decluttering to the family level.

Lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Clutter, Clutter Everywhere

I have been decluttering for years. I've read a lot of books and I feel like I have a great grasp on the concepts.

From Feng Shui studies I learned that all of our stuff has energy. That energy affects us. Sometimes it's positive and sometimes it is not.

If we keep something out of guilt, that energy of guilt is stirred every time we see it or think about it. When I say see it, I mean every time your subconscious brain that takes in 10,000,000 times more information than our conscious brain can process sees it. It's always there affecting your subconscious.

The same goes for things that we keep because it reminds us of people. Sure, if that reminder lifts us up, then that's a great thing. If it reminds us of heartache, it's not the best thing. This is why after my divorce, I let go of my wedding dress. It was hard because a part of me thought it would be good to keep for my daughters. The reality was every time I saw it, I felt like a failure and a little hopeless about my future. I don't need those kinds of reminders.

When we let things go, the subconscious mind is free to think about other things. Energetically, you're also freeing up that energy to return in a more supportive way. I've heard of people releasing things and then having money show up. My girls release clothes and then somehow end up with just as many as they started with. 😏 I find that right after I release a bunch of stuff, I get a bunch of answers. The energy wants to support us but when we hold tight, it can't do that. Let your things go and you allow the energy to return in a supportive way.

From the FlyLady, I learned that sometimes we need baby steps. This is truly a concept for the overwhelmed. If you don't know where to start, just starting with a little is a positive thing. There's another concept out there that disagrees with this, but I'll get to the why of that in a minute.

Her use of rules and routines is super important. Not all of her rules make sense for me, but when they don't I can replace them with rules that do. No matter which system you use for decluttering, you must have some rules in place. An important one is putting things back in their homes after you've used them.

The FlyLady is about getting out of that funk. Getting dressed in the morning. Getting a routine in place. Getting at least something done each day. The first priority in the home is getting decluttered. Her system takes things a little slower than a big declutter. That's needed for some people. As she often says, "You can do anything in 15 minutes." She gives you a plan and a limit so you can keep the overwhelm at bay.

From Marie Kondo, I learned the value in doing the decluttering all in one go. I also learned the value of doing one category of things at a time.

Marie teaches what she calls tidying and doing it in one go. Really, she's talking about decluttering. Getting it all out at once. Don't drag it out. Make it an event. After that big event, you're left with daily maintaining. Putting things back after you use them. When you buy new, letting go of the old. You're left with regular housecleaning not decluttering.

When you do this, you have a huge sense of accomplishment. You can see the results and feel them right away. You're not dragging it out for years. Sometimes that daily declutter idea sounds great but then after a couple of weeks, you stop. Other times, you're decluttering less than you're bringing in. Other times, you just have so much stuff that a few things each day doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere. When you do it Marie's way, you don't have that dragged out feeling or that giving up energy. It's just done.

Another concept is the categories. I've heard some people complain about these. They like doing an area or a room at a time. I get it. I tend to like doing areas myself. The problem is we often keep things in multiple areas. We have bookshelves in 3 rooms or towels upstairs and downstairs. Let's not even mention where all the pens could get stored!

I've read other books and learned other things, but these are some of the biggest impacts.

FlyLady says routines and declutter first. If you can't follow the KonMari way. then if you spend a few minutes every day tackling the clutter it'll work. If you can take longer each day or better yet hire someone to help you be accountable that's even better.

Sometimes we have to work in layers. Maybe for a while, you follow FlyLady routines and for one week spend your declutter efforts in one room, followed by the next week in another room as FlyLady directs. After a while of doing this, you'll be able to take it another layer and work in categories like Marie says. Pull all of the clothes out from wherever they are. Pull out all of the books no matter what room they're in.

Sometimes we need to hire someone, paid or not. I think part of the success that comes with the KonMari method is for those actually working with her. She helps keep them accountable and gives them specific assignments. Some people find having a friend or group helps keep them accountable. Either way, when you have that accountability you seem to get more done in a shorter time. Some people need that money spent on a coach to keep them motivated. (If you're looking for one, I'm available for remote and possibly on location coaching. Schedule a consult.)

Wherever you're at or whatever level of effort you can do, remember there is great value in letting go of what doesn't bring you joy. More on that in another post. I think this one is long enough. 😉

With lots of love from my heart to yours,

Michele