What if your home felt like you? What if you could completely be yourself in all areas of life? How would that feel? How would your world be different?
I am kind of in an in-between place. A type of limbo if you will. On the one hand, I am still highly aware of and intentionally looking at what happens in the home in order to assist healing. On the other hand, I am unlocking some incredible gifts with sound. I know they somehow work together but that is where the limbo lies. I am just not sure how yet. Because I am kind of in a bit of an unknown area, I'll talk about what I have done with the kitchen dishes. I let so many dishes go.
When I was a little girl, my dad would say he wished we each just had one cup, one bowl, one plate, etc. That idea stuck in my mind but I didn't act on it. I had often thought as a young parent that it was a good idea but I wasn't willing to even try.
I came across a YouTuber that has done that. She has one dish set for each member of her family. She started with a quarantine box, she had the term before the 2020 drama. It's a box that you put the dishes you don't think you will need. It's kind of the safety net before you actually get rid of things. The chance to see if you like it or if you will miss certain items and pull them out.
We got rid of so many dishes. Normally, I wouldn't have considered them clutter, although I did think we had too many of some things. I just was raised with having an abundance of dishes.
I am choosing to look at my kitchen as always having what we need. Not too much, not too little, just what is perfect for us. I kept extra dishes on the top shelf as I have grandkids that occasionally come over. It's a bit crazy to see so few things in our cupboards and yet it is so nice.
I noticed I had some anxiety at first. This was weird for me because I have been decluttering for so long that I find it easy to let go. I realized that I was anxious because I had let my mind choose what to keep not my heart. I didn't joy test the dishes. I looked through the boxes, pulled out a couple of things, and the anxiety left. Now they have been donated, so there is no going back.
Here is what amazes me. It is impossible to get behind. Even if we don't wash dishes before bed, there are only a handful that have to be washed before the next dinner. They can't go more than that because there aren't enough plates. It's been so nice having so few dishes to wash. I can quickly tidy up and it's heaven.
I don't know if it's the right decision for everyone. I say if you have any curiosity, pull out a box for quarantining. Start with your eating dishes. Pull everything out and keep only one plate per person, one bowl, one cup, and see what happens for a few days when each person only has one set of dishes. If you find it liberating like I do, then move onto another area. Do you need all of your pans? What about the mixing bowls? Do you have too many storage containers for your needs? How about spatulas, whisks, and other cooking utensils.
As you simplify your dishes, how does this affect your sense of self? How does it affect other areas of the home? What do the dishes represent for you? For me, they seem to represent my overwhelm level and I can say, my dishes no longer overwhelm me.
Maybe this isn't right for you and so you decide to take all of the dishes back out of the quarantine box. It's okay. It will all turn out perfectly. Amazing sometimes to believe but it really will all work out.
When one studies a lot about the home and how it can serve you, one gets led to some interesting videos. I have really loved a couple and so I wanted to share them with you. One part of me says that is counter-intuitive and the other part of me says, it's not about who shares the message, it's about the message and getting it out there.
Today's share is about some of what makes people different. Sometimes, we read a book, watch a video, or see a person then we think, “Okay, I can do this.” After a while, we fail. Why? Is it something wrong with you? Absolutely not; you are great and wonderful the way you are. Is there something wrong with the system? No, it's a great system. The reality is, there are so many systems out there because there are so many different kinds of people. The system isn't right for you, or at least not right now. It's finding the right system for you, at the right time of your life.
I remember when I was doing the FlyLady system. I struggled like mad with the daily tasks, but I thrived on weekly tasks. I remembered how I had created a weekly laundry system for myself when my oldest was little. I was so good at following those weekly routines I had set. Why didn't I do so well on the daily? I would beat myself up thinking something is wrong with me.
It's not that there was anything wrong with me. It's just that I'm more of a bigger picture planner with a flair for spontaneity. I love to set weekly intentions that I then look at each day to see if there is something right for me to do today. I love weekly routines but when it gets more detailed like a daily, I get all locked up and do nothing.
Although this video is about organizing your home, I'm currently enjoying some changes to my time planning. Slowly, I've evolved a system that works great for me. I'll share that with you, just in case there are some things that work for you.
I use a dot-grid journal. I tried the bullet journal style of doing things, but it just didn't feel right for me. I loved writing and drawing in the dot grid, so I continue to use it. I love making a monthly spread and I have finally found some weekly spread ideas that I love. I had a recent change with an announcement from my church, so this is what it looks like now.
Each month, I create a monthly calendar and note the important dates. I then set a goal in four areas. A spiritual goal, a social goal, a physical goal, and an intellectual goal. I had been trying to do seasonal goals but even though I like the bigger pictures, this idea never quite sat right with me. I'd do great for about a month and then I'd start finding other things to do instead. For me, monthly is a great chunk of time to make a goal for.
Each week, I create my weekly calendar and note more detailed events. I have a couple of trackers but not many because I can get overwhelmed with those details. I look at each of the four monthly goals and ask myself what I can do on them this week. I don't really have a great routine going right now because my work schedule varies so much.
Each day, I create my daily spread. I have a monthly theme, Halloween this month, and I draw a little sketch each day. This is important for me because I love to look at what I did and often show off the cute little pics to my friends and family. It's so much easier to look back on my page and see the fun images which then encourages me to finish my daily tasks.
Here's where my planning gets even more detailed but not in an overwhelming way. I get in tune with my Higher Power and we plan some things for my day. I start with some questions. What can I do for my weekly goals today? I then go through seven areas asking similar questions. Sometimes I get a few things; sometimes I get “do nothing.” I find the more in tune I am when I plan these things, the more likely I am to get them done.
The seven areas are:
God. It's super important to start with your higher power. If you don't have one, get one. The higher self, God, the universe, a tree, or whatever. Something that you can have a daily council with. What can you do today to have an increase in that relationship?
Self. We can't take care of others if we are falling apart. Too often, especially for us women, we put others' needs before our own to the point that we break down. It's important to take care of ourselves. What does your body need today? What do you need to do for yourself today?
Sweetheart. I do this even though he hasn't shown up yet. I ask if there is anything I can do for this relationship. Sometimes there is, other times it is to remember that he is here for me. This remembering will bring him closer vs the doubt that would push him away. After the kids are grown and gone, will this relationship stand? That's why it is the first relationship after God and self. This is the person we love and want to be with forever so take care of it.
Family. It is up to you to decide who belongs in this category. They may be by blood and they may even be those super close friends. What can you do for this area of your life? Who do you need to connect with?
Friends and extended family. Again, this is an area that it is up to you to decide who belongs here. What can you do today for this area? We never know the impact we can have when we follow the simplest of promptings here. We could get our own answers or help a friend who was really struggling.
Community. This area is quite large. Have you noticed that we're working our way out, each area a little bigger than the rest? This area is your neighborhood, your workplace, businesses, church groups, other social groups, schools, etc. These are the people you have contact with in some way. This is where this blog comes in for me. What can we do for work today? What can we do for church? Who do I need to connect with?
The world. This one can be quite surprising. Sometimes, I get “simply shine.” Other times, I'm inspired to make a video, write a fb post, or even blog. I know that those often belong in my community area but it's not about pigeonholing things, it's about following the ideas that come. A world idea could be doing something with your family. That will then create a chain reaction that impacts the world. We just never know. What can you do for the world today? What is your reach, your impact?
As I have implemented this form of planning in my life, I feel more fulfilled. I may do things that are not on the list, I may do very little. Today was mostly a day of rest. My body needed it and so even though it was a day off, the list was quite small with a couple of areas having nothing to do. My goal is to tune in each day and ask. My Higher Power sees things that I don't, so who better to plan with?
Here is the video. She's talking about organizing your home and I hope you find great inspiration both from me and from her. I wish you the solutions you are seeking, the ones just right for you!
Today, I want to talk about chaos. I don't know about you, but I find it can be a little discouraging and overwhelming to end up in a chaos situation.
The truth about chaos is that it is necessary. One must tear down an old building in order to build a new one in its place. A couple of years ago, my children and I watched such an occurrence. The city tore down a building that was falling apart. It became a big mess of brick, dust, metal, glass, and more.
Imagine what would happen if the city looked at it the way we often look at our own lives and homes. They'd have seen the big mess and got discouraged. They would have thought things like, “Ugh, it's such a mess. I'll never get through this.” Then, with that great feeling of overwhelm, they'd start avoiding the mess and filling their time with other activities. Years later, there would still be a big mess.
Instead, the city had a plan. They knew that chaos precedes order. They knew that they had to clean up the mess and make room for a new building. It took a while to clean up the mess. After a couple of months cleaning up, they were able to break ground on the new building. They dug new holes and began construction on the buildings. First, the firehouse, as it was a priority. Then the police station and city-building went up. Lastly, they just finished replacing the park that was near this mess. It took a long time, but the effort was worth it. We have some beautiful buildings that are safe for our city officials to use.
Just this morning, my children were cleaning in their room. After a bit of progress, we thought they might be done. Then they decided it was time to clean out under my daughter's bed. It didn't take long for the room to look like they had not done a thing. Their room became a chaotic mess. My job as mom is to keep them going. I know that the mess is a necessary phase and the clean will be cleaner because they did this first.
This kind of chaos happens a lot when decluttering. We go into a closet and pull everything out. It then looks like a big mess. It really wouldn't make sense to stop in the middle just because it seems like a lot. We know that in the end, it will be cleaner because we'll be able to let go of the things that were hiding.
This probably makes sense to you when dealing with the cluttering or deep cleaning concept. The questions then come, “What about the chaos that just shows up?” “What about the room I clean and then seemingly by magic is a mess again?”
This chaos feels different but what if it isn't? What if it's a message from our subconscious to pay attention?
My space has been feeling especially like this. I cleaned and then when kids went through their clothes, the extras that we're saving for the next kid got dumped in my room. Then I got a job and they just sat there because it takes too much effort to put them away.
I get to ask myself questions. How is this a reflection in my life? I thought I had my money story cleaned up and then some things changed and it's like a bunch of stuff got dumped right back in. With this little bit of information, I can clean up my room and my money story. I'll keep asking the questions, clearing the energy, and my room will stay clean.
Just like the city needed a plan to deal with their mess, I need a plan to deal with mine. I don't want to let the chaos take over. I want to use it as a steppingstone on the path to order. What needs to be destroyed in my life in order to create the life I want? What do I need to add or take away? What is my next step? What would it take to get it cleaned up so well that my room can stay clean?
You too get to ask yourself similar questions. What your current home situation represents. What your next step is. What you want your outcome to be in the end. Keep asking the questions and moving forward so that you can create the new life you intend.
