What if your home felt like you? What if you could completely be yourself in all areas of life? How would that feel? How would your world be different?
Today, I want to talk about choices. I think sometimes we forget that we can choose.
Yesterday, I was getting ready for a meeting. I had been feeling anxious about the meeting because of some earlier experiences with this person.
I decided it was time to change things. I asked myself some questions like this. What am I feeling? Often, we just say we feel angry when really, we are feeling sad and that anger is acting as protection. Maybe we are afraid, and the anger is once again a secondary emotion. Getting to the bottom of our feelings can really help us to get through this. The funny thing for me this time is that I had healed the underlying feelings and was just left with this feeling of defensiveness. Identifying defensiveness allowed me to choose the next step.
Do I want to stay defensive? My answer was no. Amazing that for me, that was all it took. I felt myself relax. Sometimes, our answer is yes, or in another situation, I got half as my answer. I was able to let go of the half and allowed myself to keep the other half. Too often, we don't allow ourselves to stay angry if we want to. If we allow ourselves to stay in a negative emotion if that's what we desire, we'll actually be ready to let it go easier and faster. Feelings aren't bad, we all feel all kinds of things. It is what we do while we are feeling that way that is bad. If I choose to journal my feelings, that's a healthy expression. If I choose to harm another, that's an unhealthy expression. The feeling was never the problem so if you feel like staying in a negative feeling, then do it for a while.
After I let go of the feeling of defensive, I asked myself what I wanted to feel instead. I think this is an important step. We have a habit of going to certain feelings but if we can give our subconscious a feeling to seek, we'll go there instead. Yesterday, I chose curiosity. Instead of feeling defensive that her ideas would not work for me, I chose to be curious about her ideas. This allowed me to stay open to insight that could add to her ideas and make them work for both of us. In the end, it was an incredible meeting and I felt better without that defensiveness hanging around.
I'm inviting you to try it. In fact, let's bring this into the home for an experiment. Pick one area of your home that is bugging you. Overwhelm? Fear? Define the feelings you feel about that area. Now that you have it defined, ask yourself if you would like to stay feeling that way. If you get a no, then notice how much releases. If it isn't releasing, then try this phrase, “I am feeling this fully, and completely and then I release it completely.” Once you have the feeling gone, ask yourself what you would like to feel instead. Follow with saying, “I feel _____ about this.” You can also ask, “Why do I feel ____ about this?” Like my choice to feel curious, I could say, “I feel curious about this,” or, “Why do I feel curious about this?”
How did it go? I would love to hear from you so go ahead and leave a comment below!
When one studies a lot about the home and how it can serve you, one gets led to some interesting videos. I have really loved a couple and so I wanted to share them with you. One part of me says that is counter-intuitive and the other part of me says, it's not about who shares the message, it's about the message and getting it out there.
Today's share is about some of what makes people different. Sometimes, we read a book, watch a video, or see a person then we think, “Okay, I can do this.” After a while, we fail. Why? Is it something wrong with you? Absolutely not; you are great and wonderful the way you are. Is there something wrong with the system? No, it's a great system. The reality is, there are so many systems out there because there are so many different kinds of people. The system isn't right for you, or at least not right now. It's finding the right system for you, at the right time of your life.
I remember when I was doing the FlyLady system. I struggled like mad with the daily tasks, but I thrived on weekly tasks. I remembered how I had created a weekly laundry system for myself when my oldest was little. I was so good at following those weekly routines I had set. Why didn't I do so well on the daily? I would beat myself up thinking something is wrong with me.
It's not that there was anything wrong with me. It's just that I'm more of a bigger picture planner with a flair for spontaneity. I love to set weekly intentions that I then look at each day to see if there is something right for me to do today. I love weekly routines but when it gets more detailed like a daily, I get all locked up and do nothing.
Although this video is about organizing your home, I'm currently enjoying some changes to my time planning. Slowly, I've evolved a system that works great for me. I'll share that with you, just in case there are some things that work for you.
I use a dot-grid journal. I tried the bullet journal style of doing things, but it just didn't feel right for me. I loved writing and drawing in the dot grid, so I continue to use it. I love making a monthly spread and I have finally found some weekly spread ideas that I love. I had a recent change with an announcement from my church, so this is what it looks like now.
Each month, I create a monthly calendar and note the important dates. I then set a goal in four areas. A spiritual goal, a social goal, a physical goal, and an intellectual goal. I had been trying to do seasonal goals but even though I like the bigger pictures, this idea never quite sat right with me. I'd do great for about a month and then I'd start finding other things to do instead. For me, monthly is a great chunk of time to make a goal for.
Each week, I create my weekly calendar and note more detailed events. I have a couple of trackers but not many because I can get overwhelmed with those details. I look at each of the four monthly goals and ask myself what I can do on them this week. I don't really have a great routine going right now because my work schedule varies so much.
Each day, I create my daily spread. I have a monthly theme, Halloween this month, and I draw a little sketch each day. This is important for me because I love to look at what I did and often show off the cute little pics to my friends and family. It's so much easier to look back on my page and see the fun images which then encourages me to finish my daily tasks.
Here's where my planning gets even more detailed but not in an overwhelming way. I get in tune with my Higher Power and we plan some things for my day. I start with some questions. What can I do for my weekly goals today? I then go through seven areas asking similar questions. Sometimes I get a few things; sometimes I get “do nothing.” I find the more in tune I am when I plan these things, the more likely I am to get them done.
The seven areas are:
God. It's super important to start with your higher power. If you don't have one, get one. The higher self, God, the universe, a tree, or whatever. Something that you can have a daily council with. What can you do today to have an increase in that relationship?
Self. We can't take care of others if we are falling apart. Too often, especially for us women, we put others' needs before our own to the point that we break down. It's important to take care of ourselves. What does your body need today? What do you need to do for yourself today?
Sweetheart. I do this even though he hasn't shown up yet. I ask if there is anything I can do for this relationship. Sometimes there is, other times it is to remember that he is here for me. This remembering will bring him closer vs the doubt that would push him away. After the kids are grown and gone, will this relationship stand? That's why it is the first relationship after God and self. This is the person we love and want to be with forever so take care of it.
Family. It is up to you to decide who belongs in this category. They may be by blood and they may even be those super close friends. What can you do for this area of your life? Who do you need to connect with?
Friends and extended family. Again, this is an area that it is up to you to decide who belongs here. What can you do today for this area? We never know the impact we can have when we follow the simplest of promptings here. We could get our own answers or help a friend who was really struggling.
Community. This area is quite large. Have you noticed that we're working our way out, each area a little bigger than the rest? This area is your neighborhood, your workplace, businesses, church groups, other social groups, schools, etc. These are the people you have contact with in some way. This is where this blog comes in for me. What can we do for work today? What can we do for church? Who do I need to connect with?
The world. This one can be quite surprising. Sometimes, I get “simply shine.” Other times, I'm inspired to make a video, write a fb post, or even blog. I know that those often belong in my community area but it's not about pigeonholing things, it's about following the ideas that come. A world idea could be doing something with your family. That will then create a chain reaction that impacts the world. We just never know. What can you do for the world today? What is your reach, your impact?
As I have implemented this form of planning in my life, I feel more fulfilled. I may do things that are not on the list, I may do very little. Today was mostly a day of rest. My body needed it and so even though it was a day off, the list was quite small with a couple of areas having nothing to do. My goal is to tune in each day and ask. My Higher Power sees things that I don't, so who better to plan with?
Here is the video. She's talking about organizing your home and I hope you find great inspiration both from me and from her. I wish you the solutions you are seeking, the ones just right for you!
For me, the answer is easy. I have thought years about what I want my home to feel like. For the longest time, I didn't know how to describe it. I remember going into other people's houses and feeling something. I loved being there and I knew that I wanted that in my home.
As I have worked with different people, I've noticed that we all want something from our homes. Some people are looking for a peaceful haven, some are looking for an escape from the world, others are looking for a place of gathering and family.
As you are deciding what you want your home to be, think about these things. Do you want your entire home to feel one way? For me, this is the case. I want people to walk into my home and feel a peace that they want to feel in their homes. Maybe you want a home that has a different feeling depending on the room. Maybe you want the family room to feel fun and the bedroom to feel restful.
Close your eyes and imagine you're looking at your ideal home. It can be the home you are living in, or it can be that dream home you will have someday. Take a deep breath and feel the joy of knowing that is your home and it's just right for you.
Now, walk through the front door. What do you feel as you walk in? Write the word or words that best describe that feeling. Look around and take it in, the feeling and any details you notice. Are there certain colors you need to note? Certain shapes, smells, etc. Are there people there or are you alone? Write it all down because there is a message in each little detail that you become aware of.
After a while in this first room, walk through each room of the house. Note the same things. First, note the feeling and then note the details. Write them all down.
If this is the home you are living in, what can you do right now to bring that feeling into each room? Can you bring the colors in, the smells, the shapes? What is the next step to creating the home you want?
If this was your dream home, what can you do to bring those feelings into the place where you are now? We need to surround ourselves with those feelings now if we want to be aligned with those feelings when we move in. Can we use some of those colors and smells in our current place? Are there things we own that don't fit that feeling? Are there things we need to add to bring in those feelings? What is your next step?
Here is an assignment for you. Every day imagine your home. Tune into those feelings again. Follow it up by asking yourself, “What would it take to bring this feeling into my home?” When you get an answer, act on it.
