It didn't take long before I pulled out all of the dishes to look through. It took a while to get through them, so my room was cluttered with boxes and stacks of things to go to this place or that. It was driving me crazy to have the mess in my room. Finally, multiple boxes were sent to donate. Some things were sent to trash. Some pulled out to use. A few put away for the future. My room was looking pretty good again.
Again, this didn't last. I now have a mess I'm sitting in again. Clothes that I need to pull out of the totes to store for next year when my younger kids grow a bit more. A few things for me to put away. It's really kind of annoying. I could easily clean up much of the mess but energetically I've had a “why bother” attitude.
Being me, it was time to look at the pattern in my life. I got to a point in my healing journey where I felt that same why bother energy. It seemed that no matter what I did, there would be something to heal or clear up. After a while, this gets a bit discouraging.
The other things I noticed is this. I love to clean up messes. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms because I can see them get cleaned. When my home is a big mess, I can see it get cleaned. I feel so accomplished when I do. I love mowing the lawn because you can see the results. I even love putting puzzles together, but I feel a sense of loss when it's done.
In my life, it is similar. I'll recreate the mess in my energy. Cleared up a relationship? Created a similar problem in another relationship. If I clear a type of energy completely, like worth, I'll find some other energy to focus on.
It's like I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have a mess to take care of. If I finish it, I have to pull out another puzzle whether that be a mess in my room, a big energetic belief, or some other problem. I don't know if it is an addiction. I thought it was for a bit, but I think it is more a fear of the emptiness.
If I clean my room and it stays clean, what will I do? If I finish healing my beliefs, what will I do? I think I have my purpose all wrapped up in solving these problems. I think I'm afraid I will have no purpose when it's all done.
I'm not alone in this kind of thinking. Many of us recreate things or pull out new problems. Maybe your reason is the same as mine, maybe it's different.
Do you feel truly comfortable in a clean room? or do you feel exposed? I felt this for a while.
Are you avoiding something else in life? If you have to focus on cleaning the house, you won't need to look at that problem somewhere else in life. Energetically, you keep attracting that mess to keep you distracted.
If you are recreating a mess, whether that be your own doing or your families, why is it? What is the pattern for you? What would it take to change it?
Lots of love and light,
Michele
P.S. I'll keep you posted on my progress as I address this energy. Knowing is half the battle. 😃
No comments:
Post a Comment