Thank you 2020, Welcome 2021!

The new year is upon us! I have had so much fun with time over the last year. Sometimes I would forget and the month would be gone before I knew it. Other times, I would stretch time out to be exactly what I needed. 

I know a lot of people were stuck in weird time loops where they felt like the same week or month was repeating. Some people felt like March lasted for 9 months. Many people couldn't wait for the year to pass. It was interesting to observe how so many people approached the year in different ways.

One thing I became aware of was how important it was to focus on the present. I didn't focus on the good or bad of the year. I focused on what was necessary for the moment. Many moments were filled with tears. Many more moments were filled with laughter. I allowed my tears to flow and when they were done, I moved into the next moment feeling better.

I don't think 2021 is going to be a magic pill that fixes what 2020 left. I personally don't like how a year was blamed for all the “bad things” that happened. It was just a year and it brought some interesting experiences. Did 2020 kill my mom? No, she died of things out of our control that had nothing to do with the pandemic. Life and death happen and it happened in my year. On April 20th my mom died. On May 25th my grandson was born.

I think 2021 will be exactly what we make of it. It's a blank canvas that will likely have some more political upheaval, world craziness, and more. That's okay. It's what you choose to do with each of your moments that matter. It's your point of view about life that matters. 

What would it take to be present in this moment? What would it take to realize that for this moment you have everything you need? What would it take for you to know that you will be given exactly what you need for the next moment and every moment after? 

Imagine you are in that space of knowing. The present space where everything is provided. From this space, what do you want to experience in 2021? What if you already had that? For a moment, just breathe in that experience.

I wish upon you an incredible year. I hope you remember to be present with yourself, with your family, and with the desires of your heart. 

You got this!

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

What Could Have Been

I have been watching a British show called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I found it on YouTube. The basis of the show is taking volunteers who are OCD with an emphasis on cleaning whether for germs, order, or both. These volunteers then go into a hoarder's home, usually not been cleaned in years. They get 4 days to get the house as clean as possible. It's been fascinating to watch.

I have a bit of OCD myself. Not the cleaning one but I can be a bit obsessive about some things in my home. I get kind of stuck on things and find it really hard to feel at peace with things. I don't quite know how to explain it. Mostly my OCD comes in the form of Scrupulosity which is a moral or religious OCD in which I have to live just right.

For this reason, I can really relate to some of what the OCD people are feeling. Not completely but I at least know that it is a compulsion they have little if any control over.

I have also experienced depression to the point of letting my whole house go. Feeling so overwhelmed by the stuff that I have no clue where to start. I have never been to a hoarder level but before I learned to declutter, I had quite a bit of stuff that overwhelmed me. I still have a lot of areas I haven't been able to get to for various reasons.

For this reason, I can really relate to the hoarders too. I know there are a lot of reasons for hoarding and not cleaning. I know that it's a spectrum and all of the people on that show are to one extreme or the other. They all have some deep wounds somewhere in their psyche.

Tonight as I watched, I started crying. Right now, I am coming to the end of my first challenge. The challenges are a month long and I do 11 healing sessions for all of the group members. I give tips when I can and I love the group for the accountability it provides to me. It's really hard to let it slide when I feel like I have all my group members counting on me to set an example. You can learn about it and join the next one here. I accept new members through the 10th of each month.

Back to why I was crying. My mom has been gone for six months. There are a lot of feelings all around. I have been cleaning out her room this month. I have taken over ten large trash bags of garbage out of that room, and I'm not really done. We have lived here for 10 years and although she made attempts at cleaning, she never really cleaned it the whole time. She was a hoarder. Not to the extent of many of those people on TV but she was a hoarder.

As I watched the show tonight, I kept thinking, “Why didn't I help her? Why didn't I offer to spend a day here and there going through the stuff with her? Why did I allow her to get so bad?”

As I was thinking, I had the thought, “For the same reason you couldn't tell her you loved her until a month before she passed.” I sigh.

There is a healing tool that I used in March with my mom. It is as simple as saying a sentence and believing it works. “I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness I have for my mom. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness my mom has for me. I clear and transmute all of the impediments of beingness between my mom and me.”

What happens is somewhere back in time, trapped energy collected in one or both of us that was like what some people call a broadcast message. It's like there was a wall or sign that prevented certain behavior. Like she held up a sign to me that says, “You must treat me this way,” and I had to treat her that way. Maybe I was holding a sign in front of my own eyes that says, “Mom is like this so I must behave like that.” It doesn't matter which one of us has the energy or what they really said. It was the fact that they existed that was the challenge.

For years, I tried and tried to tell my mom I loved her. I could tell all of my children, every guy I dated, and even some other relatives that I loved them. When it came to my mom, I couldn't do it. It drove me crazy and I was constantly trying to figure it out.

When I did the clearing statements, I didn't do it thinking about the love situation. I just wanted to clear the energy away so I could be me, the real me, with my mom. It was a pleasant surprise that I was able to say “I love you” as I desired to. My mom was surprised too! It took her a moment and then she replied in like. After that, I found it quite easy to tell her that I loved her. 

I had to do another clearing statement when she said, “I love you too.” I would think, “No, you don't,” or, “Yeah, right.” So, I used the clearing statement, “That's an interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” I got that and the concept for the impediment work from Access Consciousness. They have some good tools and some not as great tools. :)

I was so grateful as my mom entered the hospital to have all those thoughts cleared up. I could tell her of my love and hear her reply and know that it was all true. I kept wishing I would have known sooner because the last month of her life was so sweet with that barrier gone.

I don't know what all thoughts were between my mom, me, and the clutter. Some about me thinking her unwilling to hear me or let me help. Some about her own beliefs that she could never get it done. Who knows what all was there.

Now, here I am. Making headway in her former room. Working bit by bit to declutter the whole house of all the garbage she left. I seek for and find the hidden treasures of her love. We let a lot go to the thrift store and a whole lot to the dump. Eventually, the only things left will be the reminders of love that spark incredible joy.

I can't let myself get caught up in the what could have beens. They weren't. Things are what they are. I can only go forward and send compassion to the past. We all did the best we knew how at the time.

My wish for you is to send compassion and forgiveness to the past. Clear away the limiting thoughts and energy from the now. Move forward with more love and joy than ever!

With love from my heart to yours,

Michele

Intuitive Healer

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.

Lessons from the October Challenge

I want to give you a bit of an update on what I have been doing. I started a “challenge” so that I can motivate myself and encourage others at the same time. It's been a lot of fun doing healing sessions for the group and I have made huge progress in my mom's room. Leading others is a great way for me to push myself to do what I need to do.

What have I learned in the last few weeks as I have been doing this?

I discovered that I need to stop referring to the room as my mom's room or grandma's room. She no longer lives in that room. I found a new name for that room that inspires me to get in there. My kids know what I am talking about when I call it the Meadow. Its full name is Michele's Magical Meadow.

I realized I need to stop calling the stuff my mom's stuff. It isn't hers anymore. She left it behind. It's kind of my inheritance. Now, I really didn't want to inherit a bunch of garbage to sort through hoping to find the occasional treasure. At the same time, when I claim it as mine, it makes it easier for me to toss things, donate things, etc like I have trained myself to take care of my own stuff.

Another thing is, although she left all that stuff, I don't actually have to go through it. I could send it to my brother. I could give it to my kids and tell them to go through it. I could toss it all, forget any possible treasure. Realizing this actually makes it easier for me to go through it because now it is a choice. I am excited to find the treasures within the garbage.

I have also discovered that when I get stuck, I can treat myself like a client. This happened today. I went in to clean in the Meadow. I got to a point where my next step is to clean off the bed. The bed wasn't a mess when my mom passed. It's stuff I've piled on as I have gone through other things. Mostly things I haven't known what to do with. Basically, I created a big "box" of stuff for me to go through, only it isn't a box.

I froze. I couldn't really do anything.

I decided to ask myself, “What would I tell my client in this situation?” Wow, that was fascinating. I would ask her to look at what area of her life that pile represented. I discovered it was the overwhelming grief I have been experiencing. I then asked, “How much of that is yours?” My answer was none. I became aware that it was grief my mom left behind, the grief she felt as she knew she was leaving me a mess, grief from the dog, the kids, etc. Some could have even been inherited. I was a bit surprised, but not really. I have been feeling and healing as much as I could when it comes up. I was frustrated it wasn't going away. I finally asked for it to be cleared.

I haven't been able to go back into the room because of timing priorities but I have had ideas about how to deal with the mess. I wasn't getting those ideas before so if nothing else, I was able to get past a stuck place.

Another interesting thing to note about this challenge. I have been having the most awesome experiences after each session. The one on Wednesday was about careers. I'm writing this on Thursday and I had some really awesome things show up in my awareness that I could use for my career. I don't know if I am taking it but it's so cool that it showed up the day after I did the healing! If nothing else, it might open me to some more clarity as I move forward.

The whole thing has been really exciting and I am only halfway through the month! Who knows what else this month will bring!

Big hugs my friends,

Michele

Intuitive Healer & Coach

Healing homes and the Soul's who love them.