I often ask myself the following question, "What can I do in my home to help shift the energy of <insert current dilemma here>?" Lately, every time I ask—no matter what the subject—I got the same response, "Sort the dishes."
The dishes were boxes of dishes up in a closet. They were dishes I used in my marriage. Nearly 11 years ago, they got packed away. First, we moved in with my in-laws. Then my ex and I were separated for a bit while he lived with his family and I lived with mine. After that, we got back together but this time living with my mom. Finally, we separated for good and I continued to live with my mom. During the divorce process, we sorted and divided them; otherwise, these dishes have remained in boxes for years.
I delayed this process for a few months. Here's my main thought, "If I sort these and give some away, then I am admitting that I will never have my own place, that I will be here forever." This isn't logical but often the things that keep us from doing what we know is best isn't logical.
Recently, I pulled them out. The first two boxes weren't so bad. It was kind of fun. I found some things that we could use now, some things that I will keep at least for now, and some that I am donating. Pretty simple and it wasn't so bad.
Then came the third box. It's silly that a casserole dish brought tears to my eyes. It represented the life that could have been. It unlocked grief that I hadn't addressed. There was the failed marriage and although we had problems, I did love him. There were the guys that although I tried to let go, I still held on.
I compared it to other parts of my life. The life I could have had if I would have taken care of my body. The life I could have had if I had gone to that one school. The life I could have had if I hadn't gotten pregnant. It goes on. All of the things I should have done, could have done, and would have done. This alternate life that a part of me was still holding onto. I had dreams and things went according to a different plan. In the end, maybe I'll see it was a better plan. 😊
To let go of the guys, I imagined them to be kites and I simply let go of the strings. I can't tell you how much lighter I felt. I then traced it back to childhood. I went to a time when I had to give up some favorite clothes because they didn't fit. I wanted to hold on then, and in a way I did. After that was healed, I would look for other areas this idea applied such as my weight, money, etc. Each place that an emotional trigger occurred, I did more healing. I even did some premortal work to clear some things from before I was born.
Imagine the life I can create now by letting go of the life that could have been. Imagine the possibilities of what I can create. Are you holding onto what could have been? What patterns can you find in your stuff? Even if you don't have a lot, I bet you can find a pattern. You might even find healing like I have.
Lots of love from my heart to yours,
Michele
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